Friday, December 23, 2011

tet..tet...tada!10 years later.

oh my,it feels like ages since i last posted a post here.the internet connection in my house is down so kene selalu lepak kedai mamak la nok.so dekat sini x brapa nk inspired sangat nk update cause i fell like everyone's like 'bila nak belah budak dua org ni' -.- ye la aku kan negaholic makanya negative je la mak.oh and ive made a video for the girls.tgh loading ni.lmbt nak mampoih.-.- once it's finished i'll pm u guys k?bai

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Lets see.

Here, I have six conditions, which are:
A. The kettle is making noise, showing that the water is cooked.
B. The water inside the washing machine is over flowing
C. Your little baby brother is crying
D. Your mobile phone is ringing
E. Someone is at your door (pressing the bell)
F. Rain is coming down and your clothes will be wet (clothes hanging)

In those situations what will you do first? And make sure you put in the right orders.

alight.this will be my answer :)

B.The water inside the washing machine is over flowing.
F. Rain is coming down and your clothes will be wet (clothes hanging)
C. Your little baby brother is crying
A. The kettle is making noise, showing that the water is cooked.
E. Someone is at your door (pressing the bell)
D. Your mobile phone is ringing

Sunday, December 4, 2011

stretches.

insecurities have been part of my life since i started high school.having to worry about how i look,how to act and how to be great are some of my agendas every morning.i have always been the goofy one and at the same time,i was given names which i am so not proud of by some parties.friends are everything to me but enemies are there to creep me too.being named in a bad way didn't made me stronger instead,i hated myself.i used to grab a chair and sit in front of the mirror crying to myself and thinking 'why was i different from others?' or 'why don't i look pretty'?then i started to write emotional things,hurting myself mentally,and never gave a chance to myself to forgive me.i then,became an anti social because of the names i was given.my confidence level went out the window.i last wore a pair of jeans when i was 12.i stopped wearing them for 5 years and after i was 18,i gained more self esteem day by day.all thanks to my cousin.with the support she gave me,i managed to be the person i am today.basically,we actually need to step into reality,then only then will you realize that these people bad mouthing you are just projections to make u feel down,lose yourself and are just some ornaments to lead you to the wrong path.these people motivated you to make the wrong decisions,meet wrong people and give you bad examples.you need to be strong to avoid these projections just so you can reach your goal.like what they say,you can't get what you want unless you work hard for it.

l.o.v.e

my heart has always been empty and it's been 19 years.empty in terms of intimacy with the opposite sex.i've never loved someone before and i doubt to believe that any has towards me as well.all my life,my family is always first then the friends comes next.these people have inspired me in many ways because they are full of love.little did i know that i was loved by more than a person throughout my life.i never stopped to realize that these great people have supported me through thick and thin but what i'm worried about is not getting the right guy?!what's wrong with me.why can't i be grateful with life? i'm sorry ALLAH for being the person i am.i am so ashamed.*slap me self.-.- gosh.i should teach myself to be more patient and for the fact that we can't always get want we want.maybe what i need,is not necessary.the time will come i'm sure.and i will cherish that moment.what moment?for the guy to come.so there's no reason for me to be sad and all and thinking that i'm never gonna get the right guy for all i know,maybe he's standing right in front of me,or in the future.ALLAH itu maha kuasa,bila Dia rase masanya da sesuai.akn dapat la apa yang DIA jodohkan.for the time being,i would like to enjoy the moments with my family sbb bila semua da kawin n tinggalkan rumah ni,aku x nak rase menyesal kelak.i love my family i miss my dad n my mum's a superwoman.what's not to love?i wish i did not took things for granted,but hell.i was too late.so now,let's make the best out of what i have.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

december.

so my first post for december is entitled december :) obviously.so good morning everyone.how are u guys?well long story short.i hope u guys enjoy the last month of 2011.let us all start a new book next year aite?so that's all.:)

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

split.

i've been so worried these past few days.can't think straight.i miss my life although this is not really a big deal.i don't know how to express this feeling.i just think that no one understands it but me.i started it n i shall end it immediately.i really don't appreciate the way they treated their customer.n yes,i'm one of those customers.partially i'd like to say it was my fault but i don't deserve it still.i really hope that this will turn out good.so i could just live my life as normal as before.n in my world normal means sitting at home and talking to myself.i am a psychotic person but perhaps a brilliant one.muehehehe

oh and i'd like to say that i don't enjoy being lied to nor do i enjoy seeing u make a fool out of yourself.note this,if u want to continue lying in people's face,then it's ur call.but it seems to me that u are not going to like the feedback that u're going to get.u know,it's never to late to admit everything but instead u chose to make it worse.do not consider me a hater but do consider me as a curios person.u couldn't even handle the truth that's written on the screen of ur computer and how do u expect to confront with one?just saying darling.life's short,u might as well just enjoy it and be nice or regret lying to the people that to u are bitches and whores enemies and backstabbers.i may not know what's your agenda but God does.

Friday, November 25, 2011

just saying

i love my mum and dad.i don't wanna see my mum getting old but that's the way of life.i know i've been so bad.but i am just not the kind that tells to ur face that i love u.i don't tell my feelings like feelings of love or happiness to my close ones.i only share them with my friends or here blogging about it.i love u ibu.i love u so much.u've been a very strong women throughout the years without having ur husband beside u.ayah,i miss u and i love u so much.it's sad not getting the chance to see u grow old with mum.it's been years since we last visited ur grave.ayah i miss u and ibu thank u for everything.i'm sorry for my misbehavior or when i don't listen to ur instructions or even when i don't help when u needed my help.i'm sorry.u might look just fine from the outside but hurting within.how stupid am i.i was so selfish.i should've thought about it cause i feel the same way every time.however,the only thing that i still can't get over is the fact that u remarried.that's it.that's the one thing that disturbs me.on top of it,i love u so much.i hope i don't grow up being someone who doesnt appreciate a mother.ya Allah,i love my mother.bersihkanlah hati aku,buka kanlah pintu hati aku.amin n ayah,u'll always be in my heart.i love u both.the best parents ever,i wouldn't ask for anyone better.insyallah insyaallah insyaallah.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

rant

hello readers :) howwa you?good?great! :) i wanna go somewhere tomorrow.i really miss going out.and my only friend yang akan berada bersama ku tika keluaq ialah sheryn aref.muehehe selalu keluaq ngn die and kalau ade teah skali lalu ler.huh i really need to start thinking the point of me posting.hmm what is interesting?what's new?i don't know!cause i'm not outside to witness T_T i am a one sick pathetic girl living in kuala lumpur and not knowing what's happening around me.again T_T i don't even watch football.cm ne bila aku ade bf nnt pastu die ajk tgk bola pastu i'm like "sorry i x minat bola".haa acane?mesti die x nak kat i da.but who cares!i do*whisper.anyhoo,what matters is that i am single now so i might as well just enjoy the moment of not being committed to anything kan. okay now i'm just ranting.k la bye.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

incredible.

okay so good morning everyone :) i have not slept yet and so i think it would be a good idea if i blog instead of doing nothing while waiting for the sun to rise.i literally play a lot of games right now.i wasn't interested in any games before.believe me.i never did agreed on anything that has to do with games.but now i'm surely addicted to the sims.but not anymore.i got tired on that one -.- okay i want u guys to read this post with a british accent cause i am doing it as we speak.hahah bloody hell,i'm so funny! .... okay moving on as usual,i have no reason watsoever in posting this post but just to show u guys the magic of an ipad 2.so this ipad is my sister's but i use it daily -.- it's fun,u get all the cool games and the camera is quite good i must say.here's a pucture that partially shows u guys what an ipad 2 can do.look carefully.maybe about 5 minutes then u will see?u really have to look carefully.this is rather interesting i'm sure of it.there u go.LOOK!


look carefully.

thank you for following my instructions,you guys are a hell of a reader!
it turned me into Angelina Jolie okbai.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

a short story

ring ring!
julia:hello?
jared:is this julia?
julia:yes speaking.
jared:yeah im calling from the hospital here,do you know who adam is?
julia:yeah,he's my boyfriend,what is happening here?you're starting to freak me out.
jared:well,can you come by?it'll be a lot easier for me to tell.
julia:i'll be there in a sec.

in the hospital.
julia walked in the hospital and straight to the information counter.
julia:excuse me.
info.co:yes how can i help you miss?
julia:yeah actually i received a call earlier from a doctor who said my boyfriend was here.
info.co:oh yes,miss julia is it?follow me.
julia,followed the lady and was afraid of any bad news.
info.co:DR.sam will be right here in a moment,make yourself comfortable.

julia smiled and sat on the chair nearby,only god knows what she feels right now.her heart was pumping so fast but she took a deep breath and keep herself calm.she staired at people that are sent to emergency rooms and she was..

DR.sam:miss julia?
julia:came back from her imagination*oh yes,dr.sam is it?
dr.sam:haa,yes,sorry for keeping you waiting.come in.
julia walks in dr.sam's office and sat down.
julia:what is actually happening here dr?
dr.sam:well,adam wants me to call you here.he had a bad accident just now.
julia:what?why didnt he tell me?where is he?*stood up and hoping that the dr will too.
dr.sam:well im afraid he just passed away half an hour ago,right after i called you and most probably while you were on your way here.
julia:what?!*started crying.*why didnt you called me earlier?
dr.sam:it was adam that told me not to call you.because he didnt want you to cry in front of him.
julia:wait how do you know about me?why did you wanted to tell me when he didnt even told you about me?

ring ring!
julia:i'll be back in a minute*went outside and took the call while crying.
julia:adam?
adam:yeah baby,why did you sound shocked?i'll be right there okay?
julia:what?what is this?is this a joke?and you think its funny somehow you motherfucking bitch!
adam:whoa whoa!easy,whats with the temper?we had a date remember?you me dinner?you forgot?come on give me a break.
julai:im in the hospital right now.*getting really weird.
adam:what are you doing in a hospital babe?anyone sick?aunt baba?
julia:no,i came in because of you,the doctor said that you had an accident.
adam:well i think im fine babe,im driving now.

julia hung up and went back into the room.
julia:hey shit you think this is a joke?do you find this funny?
doctor:im sorry miss julia,what did you just call me?
julia:i called u shit and damn straight i did!

this was what i found.a story i wrote in my old blog.i find it rather interesting and here i wanna continue the story.hihi

while waiting for adam,julia dwelled into the past when they first met.
adam:is this sit taken?
julia:oh no no.it's not.
adam:okay thank you :) what are you doing here alone?
julia:well actually the boy over there is my brother.i am his nanny for a week.our parents went to rome for their 25th anniversary.
adam:wow how romantic.i wonder who'd be my wife one day.it could be u,u know?
julia with a puzzled face.* excuse me?
adam:well me mum told me that if u look at a woman and you constantly tell yourself to go talk to her whilst your heart is beating real fast that basically you are suffocating,then she's definitely a keeper.and looking at you just fulfilled the inquiries.
julia:oh my,a sweet talker you are.but i'm not falling for it.
adam:well,i'm sorry if i was being so charming.
they laughed throughout the day and dated since.

nurse:oh hello julia,*patting her back*i think u should head home now,it's gettig late.*sitting next to julia*u know people come and go,it's normal.i'm sorry for your lost.
julia:oh no no,the doctor was confused.my bf didn't died.he just called me.
nurse:u need to follow me.come*grabbing julia's hand with care.
julia:but adam's coming later to fetch me.
in the ward,the nurse pulled a white clothe off a corpse
nurse:your bf is adam samuel right?and this is him?
julias got shocked and took a few steps back.she pulled herself together and tried to get one more glance of the corpse.
julia:omg!this cannot be happening.he called me an hour ago,before he was even admitted.
nurse:well according to this board,he just checked in 18 minutes ago.maybe the his father made a mistake.
julia:who's father?what?i don't understand.
nurse:well Dr.Sam is adam's father.it's even hard for him to accept that his son had cancer.
julia:cancer?i thought Dr.Sam told me he got into an accident?
nurse:oh my what did i just do.i'm sorry,i wasn't suppose to tell u.i'm sorry.
julia:tell me what?

Dr.Sam:adam,julia is out answering your call.i can't do this son.
adam:daddy,don't tell julia that i'm going today.make something up,please*with an awfully sick voice*.i'm going to call her.please be ready in ur your office
Dr.Sam went away.
julia:adam?
adam:yeah baby,why did you sound shocked?i'll be right there okay?i'm on my way to your house.
julia:what?what is this?is this a joke?and you think its funny somehow you motherfucking bitch!
adam:whoa whoa!easy,whats with the temper?we had a date remember?you me dinner?you forgot?come on give me a break.*while crying slowly*
julai:im in the hospital right now.*getting really weird.
adam:what are you doing in a hospital babe?anyone sick?aunt baba?
julia:no,i came in because of you,the doctor said that you had an accident.
adam:well i think im fine babe,im driving now.

nurse:adam called you from the hospital.he was dying.he told Dr.Sam to tell u that he got into an accident so that you'd come here.he did not want to see u cry in front of him.he didn't want u to see him sick.i am so sorry that you've to know this way.

ring ring
julia:it's adam calling.*with a very slow voice due to being very tired from crying* hello?
adam;hello baby,if you're listening to this message right now,i know i won't be there for u anymore.i love u julia and always will.u were my first and will be my last which already was.i'm sorry i didn't told u that i had cancer.i didn't want this thing to keep us apart.i know you'll get very mad when knowing the truth and so i used all of our time to spend as much time as we can together.thank u for coming to the hospital and be with me.although u don't get to see me but knowing u were there is enough.i love u baby.don't cry.move on baby.cause i already have.*end of mesage.

the end.

Friday, November 18, 2011

a short note.

ayah,ueen x suka walaupon sikit kehidupan yang baru ni.ueen paham tuhan da tarik ayah.ueen rindu ayah.i've never got the chance to tell u this.i love u ayah.gambar ayah besar dlm bilik ni,kalau lalu x pndang pon x boleh sbb mmg akn terpandang.knp ueen x nak pandang?sbb ueen rindu.da bnyk kali i've told myself to move on.but how ayah?i lost u when i was 14.i remembered how u looked at me mase ayah ditarik nurse tu.tp apa guna ueen nangis kan ayah?hmm ueen x suka sgt kehidupan yang sekarang.as much as im trying to not let it show but each time,makin ketara.i hate this so much.n i don't know when can i accept this.dekat sana kan,ayah nmpk ueen x?kadang2 ueen ckp sorg2 tu ayah ade ke?ayah i'm sorry i am not one of those anak yang baik,but i will try my best.benci ke x.bukn ade beza.ueen kene juga lalui semua kan?alone.ayah,i hope i got into law school.would u be proud of me?of course u would.but i just can't see ur reaction la kan.i wish i can see ur reaction.u wanna know knp ueen tau u'll be proud of me ?sbb mase i got the highest marks dlm kelas for science pon u were so happy.basically,apa yang kitorg buat,semua made u happy.eventhough we failed at something,but u never failed to lift us back up.huh enough la.I LOVE U AYAH!*peluk bantal.ueen bayangkan ni ayah :) bai bai

dear readers.

thank u for even having the thought of visiting my down-to-earth blog.hewhewhewhew i only type for what i think is exciting,important,random and stuff,and basically what comes through my mind every minute of every hour.if i've offended u in any way,i apologize.i didn't mean to.did this blog for me myself and maybe for some close friends and family.other than just using my spare time with writing random shit.i also shout out my feelings here.everyone is welcome to walk with me through my journey of life.what i see and what i saw will definitely be updated.unless if i just ate tons of chicken wings or buffalo wings.*means that i'm too lazy*then only u have to wait months for my upcoming new posts.:) u might find a lot of mistakes here and there in terms of spelling or even grammatical errors,i'm sorry.i wrote this in english obviously shows u guys out there that i am trying to improve my english skills.i would like to be one of those who talks fluent.so fluent that i don't get to catch up.once i'm done with mastering myself in english,i'd like to start speaking in full British accent.one of my dream is to own a house in london.so this step might help me blend in with the london-ers :) a human is not called a human if u are not judgemental.and so,to those who judge me by only reading a few of my posts,u are welcome.i'm glad i could share with u guys a little bit about me.

ok post ni random gila kbai

Saturday, November 12, 2011

done.





semak

ok these are some pictures of my room semasa sedang semak.i'm on my way to kemas it.so i'll update later mase da kemas ok ? :)




i've been tagged.

TERMS & CONDITIONS:
1.You must post these rules.
2.Each person must post 11 things about themselves in their journal.
3.Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post. And create eleven new questions for the people you tagged to answer. 4.You have to choose 11 people to tag and link them on the post.
5.Go to their page and tell them you have tagged HIM/HER
6.No tag back! 7.No stuff in the tagging section about "YOU ARE TAGGED IF YOU ARE READING THIS" YOU LEGITIMATELY (a.k.a REALLY, TRUST, WITH ALL HONESTY) have tagged 11 people.

11 things about me.

okay where do i start hmmm.

  1. sensitive,very sensitive.tears and me?we're best friends.
  2. i've a big heart.
  3. i love singing/acting/dancing n i'm capable of doing so.
  4. loves reading/watching romantic movies till i cry.
  5. i can't live without the internet n of course my dear lappy doo dip :)
  6. i love decorating or anything about designing.
  7. lost a father back in 2006 whom i love so much.
  8. loves shopping!girls gotta get what girls gotta get!
  9. i love eating/swimming
  10. funny at times.
  11. i wanna travel around the world to finish what my dad started :)
there u go,11 things about me n now the questions :)

My Question:
1. Your best vacation trip?
well theres only a few places we've been so all of em'?just to name a few well all over europe,england,hong kong.

2. What are your secret talents?
sleeping all day?but i can't cause imma girl?

3. One bad attitude you have?
i don't talk to someone if we are in a fight cause if i said i was sorry,i'm afraid she'll be like "fuck u" so x nak la.takot!

4. How many times you fall in love in a year?
a lot!n mostly artiste.but reality wise,nope i don't.i just like to see some guy's smile n body.that's it.

5. The most crazy thing that you've done and regret?
i flipped at my cousin and it was the fight of the year.

6. You best friends name?
i've got a lot of friends so let's just keep it that way :)

7. A phrase you always use?
one day.

8. A word that describes you the most?
awesome.

9. What do you want for your next birthday?
a bentley an iphone 4s.thank u :)

10. Who is the most annoying person in your life?
my brother

11. Atyqah Rose is cool or Pretty?
pretty is not an option cause everyone knows u are,n so i'll go with cool.u're cool :)

i don't have enough friends so i'll only answer the questions.mueheehe just for fun :)

Sunday, November 6, 2011

i love u

so it has been more than a month since i last saw my friends back in merbok.i remembered how sad everyone was after the finals ended.but it's a relief knowing that most of us got it through.i hope to see everyone there.i think i'm going with my guts.i'm taking law.this is what i love.my family and friends are supporting so i thought,what the heck.i love what i'm doing.hmm i'm happy that me n the girls made it through.we got it!semua dpt g shah alam.tp ye la things are unpredictable kan.miyah is having some problems with deciding which to take,n my two lovelies fna n mimi are taking their muet.i hope that everything will go smoothly.i really wanna see u guys so badly.kalau x nak ddk rumah sewa sesama pon at least kita dpt la jumpe kat sana kan.mkn2 ke.kita ddk hostel kat dlm pon jadi lah!hihihi i love u guys!thank u for ur help.without u guys.mungkin aku x kan dapat ni semua.i love u all :')

Friday, November 4, 2011

I AM not SUPERWOMAN

so it's been a hectic week.with my grand ma being sick n plans to kuantan is becoming a disaster my sis is coming back soon with her friend and the room is a wreck.that completes my problem-.- i hope grand ma is doing fine.n going to kuantan will be easy n lantak la bilik malas nak kemas.kbai

alhamdulillah.

i may not be proud of what i get cause to me i can do better.but hey,i went in that examination hall for law paper hoping that things i've read would be out n can't wait to write the answers however,didn't came true as the questions are far from expectations.but i did it.i did quite well n i'm proud of it.with zero knowledge in me,but i managed to get a good grade,that's enough.it shows that if i did my homework i'd be far way better than what i had today.i never knew i had it in me.thank u ALLAH for this n thank u lecturers for the remarkable marks.insyaallah i'll be pursuing my degree in law.insyaallah. n to those who did excellent as well,congratulations.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

dup dap

the results are coming out tomorrow.my heart is pounding real fast.before i didnt felt a thing.it was all calm until now.i knew it.mesti akan start berdebar malam sebelum result keluar.normally the results will be out in the morning at 9.last year was a god news but this time.it will shape my future.this will be my last chance.i'm scared T_T.Ya Allah please be with me.hmm malunya T_T

hungry T_T

aku sekarang sangat kepalaparan.tetibe tertimbul satu idea untuk order domino's.ting!*lampu nyala kat kepala*.ok aku pon ke dapur untuk mencari nombor.namun x dapat dikesan dengan mata kasar maka aku pon perah otak untuk ingat kembali.yang aku pasti ade 1-300-8 something dan 3 something.jadi dengan kebijaksanaan aku,aku pon dapat menyelesaikan masalah yang sedang aku hadapi.nombor yang tepat ialah 1-300-888-333.iaaaa!aku pon cuba la menekan dulu,ni x confirm lagi ni.then tekan2,"selamat datang ke delivery domino's" (ayat buat sendiri).aku berasa sangat bangga kerana masih ingt nombor telefon domino's.sedang aku meminta menu yang aku suka,tetiba senyap.rupa rupanya kredit da habis.tggl satu je lagi dish aku nk order dan kredit habis?!kredit habis bila tggl lagi satu order?! aku pon kecewa.cek rewards hotlink x mencukupi.nak sos topup pon x menyebelahi.aku pon meminta bantuan kakak aku untuk memberi sejumlah rm2 supaya aku dapat mengahbiskan perbualan aku bersama domino's.sedang menunggu dengan hrapan yang tipis.tetiba aku dpt msg dari maxis mengatakan rm 10 telah berjaya dimasukkan ke dalam akaun aku.aku bersyukur ke hadrat ilahi.aku pon terus menelefon domino's semula.kali ni lelaki yang jawab.aku pon terus bg nombo telefon aku pastu die tanya "nama cik?" like putri DUHH!kata aku dalan hati.kerana kalau nk ckp dengan megah begitu,mungkin laki itu x tau siapa aku sbb aku bukan lah orang dikenali dalam malaysia ini.aku pon ckp la putri dekat die. "okay cik putri boleh tunggu sebentar?saya nak update system saya" .aku pon ckp la"awak ingat saya apa nak tggu lama2?awak ptt tunggu dan dengar order saya atau saya patut tunggu awak update system?tadi saya dah la ade masalah dengan kredit x cukup skang kredit da cukup u want to ditch me pula?!bapa saya jutawan ye saya boleh beli apa2 saya nak dan esok saya nak shopping.saya boleh suruh ayah saya saman awak!" kata hati aku lagi.realiti nya aku pon tggu.hmm ade masalah lagi ke? x lama kemudian die pon kol semula.aku pon selamat bagi pesanan aku semua dan makanan akn smpai dlm mase 30 minit :) haraga semuanya rm44 sahaja.kalau die dtg lambat aku dpt free pizza nnt.dengan itu,mari la kita ramai2 doakan die dtg lambat.kbai

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

fan

everyone had a dream about their results.me?well i don't.is it because i don't really think about it or that this is a sign for a back up plan?quite frankly,i'm scared.n i'm not really sure why.it's either because not having the dream or the results are actually out this friday.some say not thinking about the result is nuts.am i nuts?*deep breath.yana sent me a text saying that "all the best,bakal lawyer kau ni" n yana if u're reading,i ran out of crdit to reply.hihi ok yeah n after she said that,i felt like thousands of burden is off my back."kalau aku lepas ini result,aku bakal jadi lawyer kot".i'm one step ahead to having my own career.being a lawyer will at least hold my future n maybe could get some $ cha ching out of it.but that's not the point.at least i can stand sold.i know what i'm doing.ni kalau x dpt.i really don't know what to take.i'm not sure which to choose.n the last thing i want is to get random courses.haih. although i've told myself to just accept what i'll get,but i can't.i can't stop talking nor thinking about it.see when i start thinking about this result thingy,i could go on forever.no matter how many posts i post about this result,it won't change the fact that i'll get em' this friday.so all the best to my batch of prelaw students.we tried our best n did the best shit out of it.it's time to take our own ways.hope we'll meet again at the main campus.chow

Monday, October 31, 2011

random so random

i wish i could describe things in a way that people can actually felt it.feel what i'm going through.unfortunately,i'm not that good of a writer.i only see things in my own perspective.people don't get to step into the world of me.i guess i'm not that nice after all.just when u thought you're that funny person,happy all the time n never take things for granted,but it turns out,u're the exact opposite.u only use these personality as shields to block out the ones that u wanna hide.there's no such thing as a happy person hoo there n hoo here.people with problems are the perfect package.these people are the real deal.people would look at me n say "u are always happy,i wanna be just like u".well guess again

fine

i apologize for my previous post which i had no idea people would read .that's a good thing for me.however the point is i shouldn't have posted anything bad.she was right,i wasn't thinking rationally when posting it cause it just happened n i had to let it all out.basically i'm gonna be a grown woman and just let it go.bai bai

Saturday, October 29, 2011

intro

hello my dear ladybugs :) so i am alone in this house.kakak is at work my mum n her husband went to melaka this morning n am not sure when they are coming back.so this post will be so random.before going to bed yesterday,i thought thoroughly about me.u know after getting the results and all.i'm scared if i have to repeat things but i've done my best.i'm so scared man.i told myself. if i opened that result n not be what i expected,than i'm just gonna follow the flow if i dont get law la kan.then maybe law is not where i'm suppose to be.i'll try something else tu pon kalau x fail la.if fail then i have to retake then only i can get through.lets say if i can buat degree but x dpt buat law,then aku x akan putus asa.rezeki ade dimana2 kate kak tia.i miss her :'( i'm just gonna try my luck anywhere yang aku dpt.although people around me will be like "da kate da ueen x blh bawa law" but the hell.that wont stop me.insyaallah.see if i'm with my friends,they always know what to say to make me feel good about myself.only they knew how i struggled.huh xpe la,aku da usaha dan tggl untuk tawakal je. i hope i got both english subject an A+.or apa2 sekitar A la kan.huh pliss la. betul ke kalau kita berangn jadi semakin jauh angn2 itu?x nak la jauh.dekat la D': haih

Thursday, October 27, 2011

nightmare/not nightmare

i woke up and straight away thinking of posting this post for today.it's about my dream i had last night.some part of it was fun and some was not so fun.i couldn't remember every detail but i'll try to tell u guys every thing that i remembered lah.

okay so there's this school similar to hogwards from harry potter altho i don't know if i spelled it correctly or not this school dibuka di malaysia.and like any one boleh daftar n ofkos me n my friends pon daftar la kan.first day was opened for the girls.so our hostel slightly looked like the ship from titanic and yes it was big.sangat besar.me fna miyah mimi n mun stayed in a different room.their's were downstairs n mine was above them.i noticed because i had something to tell em' but can't seem to jumpa their room.i went alone walking in the big ship searching for them then there's this room,where we can see the view outside was very beautiful tapi gelap.n for some reason i made a video clip alone there.eerrrrr.i was like running slow motion and like was so emotional well basically because i saw a guy behind me.he knew i was in the room n he came with me.just when i wanna go to the other side of the ship,it was too dark so i turned around n saw raja nazrin.raja nazrin was the guy.yeah i know.klaka kan?raja was mcm like pengawas but not pengawas.i dont know how to say this but he was mcm penolong all teachers la.like teachers pet?okay.but he was so nice to me.he asked me what happened n all.n he said "that's too drk come on inside" *tranlated.then came two guys to lock the door yang i was about tu keluar through tu.those two guys are my friends juga tp x ingt.the 2 guys switched on the lights.then ade katil king yang like digabungkan 2 sbb besar sangt2 katil tu.slept by some girls younger than me.it was one of the hostel's room.i thought it was a lounge or something.the room was so big.so imagine la every room dlm ship was THAT big.nyesal x balik bilik -.- kalau x blh tgk bilik i.ok not the point -.- ok so that was the end of my night in the girls hostel.

then buka la pula pendaftaran for the boys.all the girls whom i dont know from the hostel were there too to help or menggedik i dont know la.but all i know i was there with my friend.sblm tu we went to pengkalan iman to buy some food then i insisted my friend to follow me to take a look at the boy's college.okay,so bila da smpai,i must say.bangunan budak laki was spooky gila babi.it was like the hostel from my previous scool atau pon from malinja.i dont remember but i've seen that building. then there's this emo boy came to me n said "kalau bangunan ni buat bangunan c kitorg pon x pe." yup something like that.than,semua da blh masuk.it was in the night tau.kalau nk masuk u have to show ur number which was given earlier.me n my friend main masuk je sbb die cm da nmpk muka kitorg mase dftr kolej pompuan kn so die ingt kitrg nk tlg la kot.da berjaya masuk then we climbed the stairs smpai aku penat -.- there was a tragedy where a teacher was killed.i was right behind my friend then suddenly die cm cuak2 n said "weh aku rase ni la tmpt die kene bunuh tu" sbb ade stain darah kat tangga tu.i da freaked gila babi da.then suddenly nmpk perempuan pucat turun tangga while looking at us.tu roh mayat tu kata kawan aku.sbb kitrog nmpk muka cikgu tu.aku da cuak gila.tetba the same teacher tp this time pakai tudung naik dan ckp "ni bukan tmpt saya kene bunuh,ikot saya." pastu ku ngn kwn aku pon ikot la.aku cm nk pengsan tgk bnyk darah weh kat tangga tu.aku da takut sangt.pastu die bawa pusing lagi "ni tmpt saya gantung lampin anak saya dan..." aku terus tarik kawan aku n ckp weh balik jom aku x nk dengar!.then da balik turun tangga aku pon bangun dari tidur terus buka laptop dan bercerita.anak cikgu tu pon dibunuh kat situ juga.

takut gila ini mimpi ok.i dont remember who was my friend tp my friend from merbok la kalau x silap.ok itu saja mimpi saya.bai bai

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

continue

i will be staying alone at home rasanya jap lagi.im bored i could tell u that.i can't wait to get my license done.gosh finally dapat lesen weh.i can't believe this.it feels as if im a step closer to BLS.i really hope i get it through.YA ALLAH.excited much!so we have 11 more days to dapat result.hamagd!can't wait.x sabaq gak eslok ka x elok ka.nk tgk gak.i hope i did weel although mmg ramai gila hancus termasuk aku but having hopes will not get u convicted kan?man,time id flying very fast.i can't wait to meet my bitches again!i miss them weh.kalau x mmg slalu la aku p turun bawah dok lepak.smpai depa pon habih bosan tgk aku aih.x pa la,harap nnt kat degree dpt jumpa semua semula la.x sabaq.hmm ariesya kate,kalau kene reseat,we can choose from 15th smpai 19th rase.tp die pon x brape nk sure jadi x blh caye sgt la apa yg saya tulis ni.oh n november la ofkos.lps dpt result aku kene fly kedah la?tp lets hope i dont have to la kan.nnt dapat je bachelor.i've to work really hard.*yeah right*.aku ni da la kate x serupa bikin -.- tp i really have to.oh my tatotttt!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

movies.

okay i forgot to update about the movie night me n sheryn went to.we watched real steel n paranormal acitivity.i personally thought that PA3 was scary.lagi2 watched kat theater when u have nowhere to run.haha weh really scary kot.mmg aku x dpt tdoq cause when i closed my eyes i imagine it.tatottt.hahhah n real steel was awesome la juga.i was like literally following hugh jackmans fist when he was trying to help the robot but in a not-so-nmpk-by-people way.bahahahah kbai

Monday, October 24, 2011

look at me now.

hello readers :) this one i stoled from atyqahrose hihihi.so i think everything is true.don't u think so?nuff said.

JUNE=FINEASS
Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls LOVE you. You are very hott. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takesrep pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly.spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

silence.

at this very moment,this one right now.i feel so lost.i don't know where to go.like every single burden is on my back and i can't keep myself stabled.i feel like talking to someone but the real story is too confidential and i'm trying to satisfy both parties.tears are ready to burst out but when i remembered the phrase "god will only give burden to the ones can handle" then terus kering air mata.then,just then,i pulled all my strength together and think about the solution.thinking too much will lead to stress and stress will lead to being crazy.will i,one day,be a crazy person?pfft drama queen.but still it's not impossible.anything can happen insyaallah.

looking around my house,brings all these memories that had been smashed into pieces.it's like when remembering things,all those pieces come back as one.there's a lot of things i miss.however,thinking about it won't change a thing.frankly speaking,i don't know how to move on.my past is so strong that i am not willing to let it go.it's still hard for me to accept the fact that everything changed.i am afraid of letting go my past.but sadly that's not the point for today's post.the point is,my present is not that good either.a lot of obstacles and walls that needs to be pushed away or smashed.my friend who happens to be a real good muslim,ones said "aku malu nak berdoa pada tuhan untuk senangkan aku jawab soalan,sbb mcm aku hanya pk pasal DIA bila aku perlu".padahal die ni seorang yang x pernah tggl solat.ni kan pula pada yg slalu tggl?thinking back about the statement she stated,makes me think that all these tests that kita lalui is a reminder for us to turn back to ALLAH.this is HIS way of telling us we should pray to him and don't hate life.we as human should catch HIM,and HE will give life to us.so basically,bnyk sgt ujian yang aku da dpt.yeap bnyk.and i should've opened my eyes earlier.the world is coming to an end.but no one has the guts to stop and think.sbb semua takut dan ber-enjoy is just another way of not thinking about these things.

what i'm trying to say is,bila kita diberi ujian,we should be thankful that ALLAH still thinks about us.kita masih ade peluang.peluang untuk bersama yang beriman di akhirat kelak.aku antara manusia yang take these things for granted.semuanya sbb kita x tau bila kita mati dan bila akhirat.semua buat bodoh sbb pk akhirat jauh lg nak smpai.but actually,it could be tomorrow.huh i should stop and turn back to him.insyaallah.and so all these burden,aku akn terima dgn buka hati.walaupon sepanjang perjalann die menyedihkan but i'm sure it's worth it.so let us change sikit demi sikit dari semase ke semase.i'm trying too.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

cheater.

i strongly disagree with the idea of anyone cheating to their spouses,partners or anything related to the act of cheating.i mean,which part of it is fun?even the word "cheat" doesn't amuse me in any way.is it fun seeing your partner's heart being crushed or smashed into millions of bits and u go around having fun with some other guy/girl.no it's not.why don't u guys just say it to his/her face that "i dont think this is gonna work out" if u guys can't stand them anymore instead of going out with some other guy/girl and say "look i'm with someone now,i hope u understand,see we're holding hands".it does not work that way.people will not accept such way of rejection.it's called CONFRONTATION.and this message is to those who are in love.some how i dont understand to the ones,that are already engaged.being engaged means u are in a steady and a serious relationship it's not the time for u to flirt with other guys.it's not fair to anyone.i have never been in a relationship but i'm sure the feeling of rejection is all same wether u're in or out of a relationship.cheating on your fiancee is like lying to ur husband that u did not spend rm 1000 on shopping when the money is really for saving.see what i mean?to me,ones u're engaged,u should lock ur heart.it's true that "we're not married yet,i need some fun".if u need fun,u shouldn't have agreed to be engaged at the first place see.don't play with people's heart when your partner is deeply in love with u.u should not give em' hope if u cant commit.grow up.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

topsy turvy

hello readers who are willing to read my blog yang x seberapa ni.u guys rock.mu-eh-eh-eh<== my new signature laugh.wadup people?no i havent taken any pictures yet,maybe on my next next next post.yesterday was my driving class.it went terribly wrong cause i forgot.and got panicked as usual -.- but after awhile when everything is recognized,it went perfectly fine pula.hihi this friday will be my jpj test.im freaked.takut x luluih.rindu glee la pula-.-

Sunday, October 16, 2011

oh oh

okay bnyk sangat typo.aku malass la nak tengok semula.sbb lepas aku habis type aku straight away je post.kalau rajin i read back,then i betulkan.tp kalau mls cm ni minx maaf la cai.xde nya aku nak ubah bro.u get what see.okay so here are some pictures i took randomly when alone at home.this is kind of what i do.

  • muka x ikhlas like "bitch you better get yo ass out of mah face or i wll stab u real hard" punya x ikhlas.

  • this one is "i'm trying so hard smiling to make my face likable" look.oh and the name's melissa

  • this one is my all time "cover girl" look.i cropped the rest cause u dont wanna see it.hahaha
  • this one pula is my "please get that prince to marry me like pretty please " face.

or i'll kick yo ass.

ok so im obviously bored.yeap,there's not alot goin on my face.cant really make expressions.but actually i take that back.i can.nnt maybe next update,i'll show u guys how many looks i can give.hahaha.gambar terakhir punya terserlah aku ade campuran india dan sewaktu dengan nya sekian.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

blame me all u want,im still diva

hello earthlings.beautiful earthlings :) no dont go all "oh die ni ckp hello kat beautiful earthling je,not me" on me.when i say "beautiful earthlings" i meant to everyone of us yang telah di cipta oleh Allah swt.so am currently listening to yuna's cover of come as u are.hmm.i was thinking about something just now but it probably slipped from my mind now.so yeah cant really talk about that anymore -.- so late i'll be having my "lunch" with sheryn.oh and b4 i forgot,my jpj test will be on this friday,then my last two class will be on tuesday and this thursday,wish me luck people ! :)

i really wanna improve my english skills cause i've dropped it the first thing when i accepted the offer to muadzam.see,u dont really get to speak in english when u're with ur friends kan,sapa gossip dlm bahasa inggeris if u're a true malay.hahah -.- well actually i blamed myself for not having the initiative of doing so.thank god i was selected for the english debate team mase skola xde la lost sgt.i used to be so good at it.damn.huh.so yeah that's actually the main reason why i choose to write in english.but as weird as it is,i only can speak fluent english when i'm talking to foreigners.force of habit kot.ish x suka la guna mozilla -.- oklah mls nak type.see how easily i give up speaking now?shiznit.

Friday, October 14, 2011

those sleepless night

hello.just when i thought i'd be more healthy then my sleepiness went uncontrollable that every time i feel sleepy la.this is so frustrating.i dont wanna get health risk at the early age.td aku punya mata pukul 4 td siap da berair.then tdo konon set alrm pukul 5 tp bgn pukul 6 ptg td tu pon sbb aku tertutup kipas then told myself to bagn ang go somewhere untuk tidak rse ngntok.however,berhijrah x membuatkan aku lebih segar malah mata smpai x blh buka da.then aku pon tertido semula -.-smpai pukul brape x tau tp yang penting pukul 8 aku ade dlm bilik dan tdo smpai ke pukul 1 pastu x mampu lg nak memaksa diri maka aku pon bgn sehingga kini.terukkan?cm ne eh?aku x suka cenggini.kalau x td boleh keluar ngn kakak.kakak x kerja smlm.haih i'm missing alot of fun ah cm ni.aku x suka.ni pernah berlaku mase aku kecil.excited nak raya smpai x tdo langsung.pastu bila tiba esok hari im the only one yang tdo.pastu semua naik kereta nak mkn kat golf club.aku tido atak meja beb.kepala baring atas meja pastu tdo.aku terjaga bila semua da habis mkn dan sepupu aku kejut.dorg kaa da bnyk kali dorg kejut aku.gila x tahap mengntok aku?ye mmg gila tahap maksima.aku sgt takot kalau benda ni terus berlaku.bahaya sgt da.da la bawah mata hite nak mampuh.gano ni gano?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

congratulations.

so before i hit the sack.i would like to say CONGRATULATIONS again to my dear best friend for the past 6 years(n still counting) Sheryn Aref for getting the offer to Manhattan School of Music.i am so proud of u man.u like wanted this since i can remember.it was ur dream and u got it.and i really think that applying for scholarship will do u better.man i wish i were in ur place right now.i dont even know what my future lies aheas.it's between i'm or out.it's always been that way kan. huh bottom line is.im very proud of u.i realy am :').goodnight babe.think properly.i will support u in any way.

Monday, October 10, 2011

dark really dark.

so im sure that most of u out there are well aware of the problem i'm facing with which is lack of sleep.i've been working on it and "it" refers to make proper my sleeping schedule,however failed due to the temptation of my beautiful well arranged room and my fluffy bed with all these pillows.aaaa syurga dunia kata miyah.okay too much info there.well the point is,the reason why i cant sleep at night and im quite sure of it as well is because i sleep in the day.see,when u can't sleep at night kan u like wanna balas dendam then u tido waktu siang.now tido waktu siang is something i wanna or the precise word is i need to avoid buat mase ini untuk dapat kan jadual tido yang sempurna kembali.time finals,sleeping wasnt at all dalam list.basically through out the week,x smpai 24 hours aku tdo.yeah that's right.tp finals x blh juga.daym -.- miyah just gave me some new info's about the dark circle living under my eyes.antara sebab sebab nya lingkaran gelap ni suka ddk bawah mata saya ialah :

  • dehydration dimana menghadapi kekurangn air dalam badan.
  • kekurangn vitamin c.
  • DUDUK LAMA DEPAN LAPTOP/KOMPUTER.
  • x cukup tdo.
  • masalah kesihatan
  • stress
  • keturunan/genetic.
jadi disini,yang telah saya bold kan adalah due faktor yang sedang saya hadapi.yes,i stayed a little too long in front of my dearest laptop untuk tumblr the sims twitter.mereka la yang membantu saya tika bosan namun juga sbb utama saya x tdo.i need to be back on the track man.ni pon jap lg aku pass out la.tadi slept at 22 terbgn pukul 23 sbb nak buka pintu untuk kakak and up until now havent slept yet.this is getting worse.sekarang mmg makin teruk.habislah aku.minx maaf wahai wajah kesayangn hamba.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

first

i remembered the first day i knew i got the offer to merbok.everyone was like 'congratulations"! we straight aay went to go for the med check-up.everyone was in a rush.i got the offer on friday and have to reg on monday.how wasnt it rush kan?so that night we went to IOI mall to buy some stuff sbb situ paling dekat.then habis beli semua barang,malam tu pack.then sabtu off to kedah.da smpai we checked in,grab some dinner and pergi cari uitm located kat mne semua.then on monday pon i went there.berdebar gila la kan cerita die.da la muka aku comot gila -.- then da habis reg semua went to bank islam semua.then balik bilik.ibu da nak balik hotel.so i pon tggl la dlm bilik.ckp2 dgn roomies.my roomates terdiri dari 2 org senior dan fatin same dgn aku.the seniors were kak kina and kak dira :) they were nice.best la lepak semua kan.everyone boleh terima my perangai so yeah ..... hihih

then tibalah my first class.ade sorg budak kelas c tlg bawa aku kat b3 x silap.then i first met adila pika and tiqah.they were the first three person knew i existed.haha then da lama semua.blh masuk kepala satu kelas.my class was awesome with a cherry on top without a doubt.the best people are all gathered in one class.hihih serious weh.every single person in my class cool gila semua pndai and x tau nak ckp cm ne.then habis la semester.

basically start dari sem sati aku jadi org yang berbeza.sbb dpt jumpa dgn org2 hebat maka aku pon nak ikot jejak langkah dorg.terima kasih korg :') love u guys :)

disneyland.

i forgot about how fun disneyland was.the last time me and my family went there was back in 2006 dekat Hong Kong.that was my last trip with my daddy.ayah wanted to go to rome,italy instead but i demanded him to take us to Hong Kong sbb mase tu disneyland due baru je buka.huh menyesal x ikot je ckp ayah -.- and so we went there.i've been to disneyland three times and were all located in different places.my first was disneyland paris.yup that was our first.mase tu masuk masa nak peatang da sbb it was quite far from our hotel.kene naik train sana sini then alhamdullah smpai.semua sbb ayah nak juga bawa sana :').then my second was in hong kong and latest back in 2007 dekat tokyo sbb ade exchange student programme tu.itu mase dpt shopping dengan sheryn and we have met some really cool people sangat sangat :)

basically the reason i'm talking about this is just to make me remember.i dont wanna forget about these happy moments.i just scrolled my tumblr dashboard and found alot of disneyland merchandises punya pictures and the vibe came back to me.how happy i was back then.T_T thank you ALLAH for the opportunity.thank u for leting me step foot dekat negara asing once.and insyaallah,i might be furthering my studies there who knows.wallahu'alam.thank u ayah for the memories.i'll keep it safe in the back of my head :)

all signs points to yes.

a lot of my friends and especially my mom duh -.- are encouraging me to find a job that suits me.well i'm sure there's no job that suits me ifuknowwhatimean hihi x x gurau.i am actually thinking of getting a job.my sister has proposed a job at the place she's currently working at which is to be a receptionist in a hotel.i'll have to wear skirts and hair tied up though that is merely the opposite side of me.i'll be considering her offer while at the mean time i'll be focusing on getting my license done. months of living in this house is a long way to go.so i might need to listen to these people's advices and opinions.i gotta stop day dreaming.literally.

this is wrong.

this is not how i want my life to be.everything seems to fall apart perfectly .it's very frustrating bluntly speaking.i never changed although that is what my heart desires.why cant i even keep a promise to myself?i think the word for me is disciplined.but how ought i achieve such thing?okay.so next week will be my driving class.so that makes a small change in me.then insyaallah i'll get my own car then maybe then will i have loads of changes?well fingers crossed definitely.i'm so scared to ho for my jpj test man.but the hell imma rock it!:) there u go.a little bit of energy boost.so rumors are saying that our results will be out on the 4th novem.which will be in less than a month from now.i'm getting butterflies in a bad way.i'm so scared to whats in it for me.will suck or otherwise?yes ariesya,i am tired as well of being a loser.haih how la?i cant believe of how stupid i was thinking that everything will be okay.things will never be okay if i'm still me.i need to make changes. license is first in the list forsho.i need to see a little bit of improvements in me.but i did i had one.and as usual i blew it away.azureen.please.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

bernard

another day without a good shut eye.this is getting worse not to mention that my eyes are getting darker.why can't i sleep?why god why?!hihi okay bosan.tggu gossip girl loading.best gak this one.i need to start figuring about me.i need to know which path im taking and where im actually going.haih ive wasted a lot of time oledy.i am such a loser T__T dont even know where to go.da la finals hancussss.man.feel like shouting i love u to u..errrrr.x x shouting everything yang comes to mind.tapi benda da tertulis.tu la yang paling menyeksakan.aku mmg turun mendadak la prestasi.adoi.i am not done thriving man.i needs to go further.i want my degree in law.it will be so devastating kalau the answer is negative.huh im not ready to let go T_T

Monday, October 3, 2011

teringat pula.

teringat dulu mase ayah ade,selalu bangun malam sbb lapar.heh.selalu bangun sbb dahaga.dulu mase dari barcelona nak pergi monte carlo or somewhere in spain la lupa -.-,i was in the same train room dgn ayah. i slept dekat bahagian atas.ayah kejut tetiba tanya ade mknn x.hihi pastu bagi ayah mkn keropok apa tah.x ingt la.cheezles kot.rindu gila kat ayah.dulu ayah pernah ckp "kalau ayah da x de,mesti ibu kawen lain". ibu pon merajuk dgn ayah pastu gaduh.but that was what happened.benda yang x nak jadi nak.benda yang x nak dilupakan.mase akhir ayah da nak pergi,ayah selalu tidur bilik ni.my room.x tau knp.huh funny how people go cm tu je kan.cuba kalau diberitahu,lagi la sedih kan.kalau la ayah masih ade dan aku tau die akan pergi.aku akan peluk die kuat2.heh rindu pelukan seorang ayah :').lama da aku x peluk seorang ketua keluarga.seorang ayah.perkataan ayah pon aku da lama x sebut.siap lupa cm ne kasih syg seorang ayah.bila dgr kwn2 cerita rase best sgt.tp kalau ade yang slalu gaduh ngn ayah dorg ke aku rase cm x perlu la kot buat cm tu.tp ye la we take things for granted.aku pon cm kurang hargai ibu aku.tapi cm ne hidup aku tanpa lagi sorg wira hidup aku?aku x tau la.peninggalan seorg pon aku cm susah gila nk terima.haih aku min panjangkanlah usia ibu aku YA ALLAH.kalau apa yang die dpt skang ni buat die gembira.xpe la,aku biarkan.haih emo pula aku -.- aku nak je pijak tempat org lagi.mcm dulu.tapi mesti lain bila ayah da xde.aku tau x baik ingt paasal org yang da xde.tapi aku rindu.rindu yang teramat.walaupon aku x rapat dengan ayah aku dulu.tp kehilangn die telah mengubah hidup aku.tapi x tau la kearah positive atau negative.aku x dpt pon ralisasikan hajat untuk ke kubur ayah sblm habis semster.x de mase smpai la habis.nnt kalau dpt shah alam.lagi susah nak pergi.i dreamt about ayah yesterday.mimpi ayah pakai iphone.heh.kalau ayah ade rase x guna kot iphone.biase la business man.bb pon x mungkin.heh x tau la.x baik ckp kalau.benda da berlaku.aku redha je la.nk menangis hentak kepala kat lantai pon x kan dpt hidupkan ayah balik.ni semu ade hikmah aku yakin.cima aku x nmpk lg apa hikmahnya.atau mungkin aku da nmpk?wallahu'alam.okay la AL-FATIHAH buat ismail bin mohd isa.suami dan ayah yang baik,semoga ditmptkan dalm kalangn org2 yang beriman.amin

Sunday, October 2, 2011

sit down and scroll

hey bloggy woggy :)) howwa you? oh and hello dear readers.hihi so i had this dream.which involves many people that i know for sure however couldnt recall every single one.but the weird thing is,i had a drem about a friend of mine.we've been friends for 13 years now.i had a dream about him giving me a call.and we talked as if we're together.and when i woke up,i got three miss calls from him. coincidence i might say.my phone was off.and when i got up and charged it,got a msg from maxis.he called me 3 three times since 0259.but i charged my phone at 459.hihihi jadi cm hmm terbawa2 dlm mimpi.pelik juga.i sent him a text but he didnt replied.kecewa.x pe la hhiih

so wad wad waddap?i dont know what to do.kalau nak tgk videos nnt kene tmbh quota sana sini.see skng kitrg guna bb yang kene topup top up quota.jadi cm berjaga la sikit online tu.ala guna plan tu la.bkn nya aku beli bb yg sedia ade die punya quota tu.get what i mean?mls nk ulang.i wanna watch some movies la.-.- tetapi btl2 x reti nak proper download -.- main angry birds la.kbai

Saturday, October 1, 2011

i have a dream

aku takut gila x lepas shah alam.paper law ni la.x pon kesemua paper yang ade untuk sem ni.satu repeat meaning harapan ke shah alam mmg punah.haih kenapa semua kene jadi sem akhir?mostly i blame myself la kan.haih.betul betul nak realisasikan impian duduk rumah sewa with the perfect 7.with all 7 girls tu.tapi aku takut gila.lepas ke x?saya tangat tatotttttt.kalau x dpt nak amek apa ha machaaa?hmm kene pikiaq ni.

scared.

now aku takut pasal paper law 3.aku lepas ke x ni???!!!doa doa doa.

Friday, September 30, 2011

lovey dovey


hello im DR. LOVE

hihi x la gurau gurau je.i've noticed that da lama x letak gambar dlm blog so why not now.okay.i just got back from pavilion.jalan jalan smpai sakit kaki.went to Ted Baker but x jumpa pon my purse and x masuk pon marc by marc jacob sbb asyik terlps.die cm mls nak patah balik.hmm it's between two.sama ade nafsu shopping aku da berkurangn or the things yang tetap sama.went to cotton on , forever 21,dorothy perkins, semua barang masih sama.disappointing much -.- so x de menda sgt la nak beli.so mmg fully jalan tadi.pergi pon sbb kakak nak mkn nandos.so pergi la kat pavi then alang2 tu jelajah je la satu tmpt tu.then ptg sikit abg wan mai mkn pizza pula.im pampered today.oh and pergi kat tokyo street tadi.mmg best lah kan.semua ade dari mknn keai instant food and super market dari okyo mai punya.and bought ice cream jepun perisa vanilla yang ade waffle tu and my sis bought green tea punya.awesome smbil jln2 :) puas la hihih

oh lupa pasal kedai typo hih weh this will be like my fav kedai la after this.semua benda yang aku nak semua ade.semua yang i could imagine.org kate dunia tumblr mmg sesuai la dtg situ kan.aku nak dtg situ lg.beli note pad yang cntk gila and i got my eye on that one gambar.that costs rm 119.insyaallah satu hari nnt aku beli and one from ikea tu.muah sikit la tapi rm49 :) due ni is so on my list.kbai

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

statement.


i really hope that this will never happen between me and my gfs.:') sedih weh kaau jadi x rapat da T__T.i love you guys.kalau diferent in a good way x pe la :)

sooner or later.

i'm actually torn between a lot of things and i've been thinking.can i cope with it?with the degree i'm about to take?law?can i do law?or should i make considerations on other courses?yeah i do want law.but thats just it.the surface of it.what about inside?foundation pon da tunggang langgang ni kan pula degree yang cm wayyy more susah and everything has to do with memorizing .now that gives me the chiles.i am not that good in memorizing but i'd lie if i say im not good at talking too.i love talking *i may be annoying sometimes.*sigh.thats not the point.skang ni cm if i can speak kenapa tidak amek masscom?well maybe sbb abg i da amek.so x nak la amek sama.ade la dulu pernah nak amek sama but skang da amek law i might as well stick with it.tapi tu la.can i do this.is this my path?hmm insyaallah i'll think about it more deeply.sbb maybe kalau dapat la pointer lepas,i think im going with but still akan consider juga la.sbb aku takut sgt i cant commit.aku da la jenis study last minute.i cant bear with not sleeping anymore.tapi kalau strat study awal then ilmu cepat hilang.takut tension.ade both sides la of thinking about this awal.one is nnt x yah pening2 then the other one is asking mysels the same question within this holiday.hihi nnt i nak bincang.so i can talk and wanna get the degree.tapi do i wanna be a lawyer?ibu cakap kalau ade degree law,then its easier for me to get jobs.kalau nak amek masscom la katekn,then apa guna aku memenuhi syarat masik law kan?nak amek saikologi lagi bnyk menghafal.kalau amek administration science?yes im sure that most of u who are reading might say "quit whining!mana ade benda yang senang dalam dunia ni" but bukan apa.i've been in this situation before.cm dulu i really wanted to get into addmath's class cikgu semua tanya boleh ke buat nnt aku dlm hati "ala aku x cuba lagi cikgu ni nak ckp aku x leh buat" and at the end,aku mmg x boleh buat pon addmath.tapi math boleh.pelik -.- ,so same la cm situasi ni."aku nak law,mmg org ckp susah tapi aku x cuba lagi mana nak tau" haa itu yang aku bgtau diri aku.and mase nak isi borang rayuan tu pon ramai ckp law ni susah and all.but lepas ikut instinct,it wasnt that bad pon..i love law :) tapi kene ingt itu asasi.haa tu yang aku runsing sikit tu.but im sure semua course on untuk degree jadi 10 times harder kan.so same goes to law la.the thing is u have to be good in memorizing je la.huh kene bnyk bace quran.jangn tengok benda x elok semua.insyaallah boleh.maklumlah influence tv kan skang.i think i'm good,but need some more time la.need to think straight before i crash in the middle of the road.hmm hope to be under one roof dengn gadis sempurna saya.tapi x tau la.aku kene kurg ckp benda kosong dan membuat lawak bodoh.haih options2.pening kopalo.kbai

nak update juga.

good night everyone :) am off to sleep later but feel like updating me blog first.dont know what to talk about but for some weird reason i feel like to.me and sheryn are planning to see tasha in brisbane.we've been planning the same thing for the last 1 year sbb masing2 bz.tapi sbb skang due2 pon cuti so it'll be easier la.mommy da bagi :) so nak plan betul2 la ngn si senah tu.kalau tmpt tggl,ddk rumah tasha je.i hope jadi la.amin :)

now im listening to adele's someone like you.best lagu ni sbb die bermelody.rease cm nak karoke lagu ni pulo dah.cuti ni i wanna get my license done and a car :) hihih lepas tu da beres then senang la saya nak gerak ke sana ke mari.then bulan november nak ke brissy with sheryn.tadi pergi ioi mall then ade kedau casanovas rase jual carpet kan.teringt kat z girls mase berangn nak decorate rumah.miyah cadang kita buat gaya hidup jepun je.ddk ats lantai.tadi nmpk carpet tu.cntk dan lembut tp da target nak beli kat ikea yang colourfull.cntk brah ! hihi tapi x nak berangn lebih sbb nnt takut kecewa dengn keptusan bakal dapt.haih berjaya la endaknya.janji x ulang mistake same -.- last2 minute da x blh dan juga spot x boleh dipercayai.sekian

Monday, September 26, 2011

no more.

no more going down to check out my firends.no more waking up and looking at the opposite side of bed.no more going to bath late(yeah right).no more going to pengkalan iman to melantak and stop being dehydrated.no more laughing like crazy.no more gossiping with the ladies.no more gelak dato' k.no more indian dance.no more haru hagemaru.no more adik.no more sexual harassment.no more response due to sexual touches.no more discussions on economy.no more plans in answering the same question.no more analysis on past years.no more waiting to go to class.no more heavy make up -.- no more stress in mix and matching clothes.no more jira atas katil no more korean delight.no more bilik berhabuk.hahaha no more going to class late.no more going to the library.no more meeting the classmates.no more communicating with the top students.no more talking about cute guys.

these are all memories that left me with smile.i'm happy i got to keep these memories.and hope to start new in shah alam kelak.with all the same girls all the dreams may come true.amin hihih

oh and if i got in shah alam.i promise u it'll be a hell of a new start.new stories and new updates.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

homey

finally that's the end of our journey in merbok.im safe at home right now and home is where i wanna be after the lack of sleep ive gone through for the whole final week.penat sangat tapi ade yang berbaloi dan ade yang tidak.and yes,u are not worth my sacrifice.hahah tapi x pe.kalau ade rezeki then im not goin back to merok la.i miss the people there already atau mungkin sekang x rase sangt.nnt bila da lama tu rase la.mana x nya aku da la pendatang wajib ke blik cinta ayu jelita dan cantik.dituruti oleh anggun dan si kacak bila dengar suara aku aka manje turun.hahah bertujuh sekang mata x tdo study bro.2 sem lepas aku study sesorang je tapi sem tiga ni jadi beramai ramai pula.sem ni la nak luang masa with firends and the same time kene struggle for finals.aku da berusaha and its time to tawakal.hmm anything that comes through my mind later,i'll drop it here so rajain la bace this blog.am gonna miss my lovelies so bad.bai bai

god bless.

alhamdulillah.habis sudah perjuangan aku seagai seorang pre law :) aku akan rindu sangat saat saat akhir ni.how time bergerak dengan lajunya.aku ingat lagi first time datang merbok dan sekarang i just finished my last paper here in which case it sucked to the fullest.didnt see this one comeing like seriously.but apart from that i am blessed with thethings here and how my life was written.i am happy to meet with the friends yang memang sangat best :) i am happy with everything despite the times yang ade juga tension sana sini.:') aku gembira aku da habis asasi :) aku harap la dengan usaha aku ni,akan smpai la ke shah alam dengan diberkati.the best college life i've ever had although um xde curfew -.- tapi sini tetap best.hahahah aku da habis asasi sunia!!sekarang je la boleh gembira :) nnt dpt result aku hiatus sat la. hi hi hi hi...ka la bai :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

i wanna be with you.

alhamdullah one paper down.my heart best was at it biggest climate tadi berdegup x ingat dunia.was really afraid yang apa yang saya bace x keluar.tetapi alhamdullah.terima kasih YA ALLAH.:) so now i have to get started for my second paper.i wanna step foot in shah alam weh.to make all my dreams come true.amin.tolong la ade tempat untuk aku.but the question is can i cope with it?asasi pon da cm bising sana sini.ini kan ke degree pula.mmg akan susah lagi la kan.but i'll try my best to make my mum proud of me.i've gone too far to turn back or worse give up.i'm gonna push myslef and i deserve it.sape suruh x start awal.kan da menyesal.xpe la.this is how me rollz.hihihi oky la pergi dulu

Saturday, September 17, 2011

no excuse.

now only i can feel the heat.things are getting smaller in m sight as there's only three more days to struggle and im sure ive no more time.i am officially scared.i am trying to reduce my sleeping time and try my best to finish these on time.if i could cover up my global and law subject,what happens to my economy man???x kan left out gitu je?cm no ni?im not good at making schedule la.terbengkalai habis.but i'll try my best to fit in kat shah alam.nak juga walaupon kene himpit.I AM GOIN TO SHAH ALAM!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

phew.

i know im suppose to feel happy leaving this place sbb da habis asasi weh?sape yang x gembira dok?but these girls la,always make merbok the best place ever la.mereka ni,makin hari saya makin sayang.haih cm ne nak lepaskan korang nnt? :'( nanges la kot hujung nnt.da la semua balik 25 hb.x de pon yang nak balik lmbt -.- haih then ddk rumah contact2 la.aku doa la semua berjaya.kalau nak berjaya x boleh update blog time time gini.kene study kbai

beep beep.

i dont know where to start.

dear future.

before i open the book and start being a zombie.i wanna share with u guys about my dream.

my dream is to marry a rich educated and a nice guy.to travel around the world with him.to love him all my heart and to have babies with him.i love kids and so want mine.at least 3 kids would be fine :) i want my first baby to be a boy so that he can protect his sisters with care.i wanna own 3 houses from 3 places 1) kuala lumpur 2)pulau penang 3) london.why?well kl is bcos i mmg da lama stay sini and im getting used to it.jalan semua da recognize da.sosenang la nak gerak memana besides all the things i like is all here.nak shopping semua kan.hihi the why in penang?hmm right after my dad passed away,this urge of living in penang starts to grow.i've found one place yang insyaallah one day i'd like to buy which is located at batu feringghi.nama tmpat tu moonlight bay.sangat cantik tmpt itu.and last but not least london.i've lov london since i first step foot kat sana.among all the places ive been to,london is one i love.im not sure why but i can actually find peace there.mmg la baru ade riot but that place is so fun and it has a lot of memories with my family too.i love london.and malaysia too dont get me wrong.:) okay so nak la rumah kat tiga2 tempat ni.

so what else?before kawen i nak ade my degree in law and safe as much memories as possible macam di merbok ni and insyaallah smbung masters kat luar negara.best juga kalau jumpa future husband kat luar nanti.u know why i prefer to marry guys yang blaja di luar negara?sbb bila travel he can lead the way u know.senang mcm my dad dulu.kitrg pernah sesat kat amsterdam,then pusing punya pusing my dad dpt juga jumpa jln balik.haa im so proud of him.yeah kind of mcm tu la.to have a husband exactly like my dad is a bless gila gila.amin :) then i can show some pictures to my daughters and son hihi.cakap pasl daughter and son.kalau i dpt anak lelaki,i wanna name him imaan or noah or noh.kalau perempuan naomi anna and zara.kalau kembar pasangn naomi and noah tu la hihih nama anak semua nak simple je cnth nya zara binti... haa i nak anak nama satu je.x de panjang2.tapi kene juga tengok maksud die.tu sangat penting.and kalau rumah,i prefer living in a penthouse.lantai rumah nak pasang fully carpet cm hotel tu hihih kalau banglo ok la tapi kene bnyk duit sgt2 sbb tau la aku nak decorate cm ne nnt.

dear future kids of mine,
i am gonna love u guys like u guys are my life my soul.i will try to fulfill ur needs and fill in ur religious background.ingat Tuhan yang cipta kita.kita kene sentiase berdoa pada DIA.jangan pernah lupa kat Tuhan okay syang semua?jangan juga lupakan jasa orang tua kamu iaitu saya dengan bakal daddy kamu la.hihi sekarang ni i tengah type time umur 19 tahun lagi beberapa hari lagi nak final.hiih and fyi,i tgh single lagi ye anak2 ku.hahah x de bf lagi -.- mak kau ni loser haa mase muda.jgn la repeat prangai mama kamu ni.hihi belajar rajin2 tau.jgn gatai nak bercinta sgt.dapat straight a's mama bg hadiah.satu A dpt satu hadiah.tu pon kalau hidup i senang la.hmm nmpknya i la yang kene tentukan mase depan korg.tggl kat rumah setinggan ke rumah banglo atau mungkin rumah terapung bila korg da ade nnt?mana nak tau,teknology kan. :) sekarang i tgh dgr lagu yuna.nnt korg da ade,yuna mungkin x famous lagi sbb da zaman apa da.n lagu lama2 je nnt ha.hmm habis je i buat foundation in law,insyaallah boleh la smbung degree law pula.nnt da jadi lawyer la baru blh hidup senang sayang :) haa tgk la cm ne.mesti kalau mama kamu ni x berjayapastu mase korg bace korg akan ckp "knp la mama x blaja rajin2 dulu,kalau x boleh la tggl kat london tu" atau mungkin kalau i berjaya korg akan ckp "mama,semua impian mama jadi kenyataan" hihi wah sejuknya hati..haa x lupa juga.sekarang kelas mama KPI0053D.kelas ni mase tahun 2011 iaitu tahun ini sangat best.i sgt syg kelas ini.terutamanya kawan baik mama.yes i do have best friends,x la loser mana.haha fnamunmiyahmimiqilaziqah.ni la kawan2 i mase blaja ni.dorg la yang ajar diri ini dan buat i senyum.kalau nak tau dorg la aunty fana aunty mun yang kat sabah tu and aunty miyah kat kelantan sibuk uruskan firm die.aunty mimi and aunty qila yang selalu dtg tu n aunty ziqah tu.:)korg nnt jgn jadi anti social sgt cari kawan yang boleh diharap.jgn silap pilih kawan tau syg semua.jgn isap rokok,buat yang x elok,solat cukup 5 waktu,ingat TUHAN,taat kat mak bapak,jgn mempermainkan perasaan orang and phone i bagi time korang nak masuk university je.awal2 x dpt la derr.hahaha laptop pula guna yang i punya je.passing2 dari abg ke adik semua.jgn berebut.laptop satu je untuk sekeluarga.hahah padan muka :) bottom line is,im gonna make ur life as fun as mine was.im gonna love u guys all my heart.insyaallah i'll prepare a good future for all of you.jgn risau ye,:)

hmm gembiranya aku kalau semua ni berlaku.hihih tapi awkward gila gelar diri sendiri mama.haha yup i want my children to call me mama and daddy for their bapak.hmm mesti nnt kalau bapak die bace post ni pon gelak.hihi best gak buat post gini.nnt boleh bace semula semua :) nanti anak2 aku boleh la jumpe ngn sepupu dorg semua abang gubby and all.haha nenek imah and tok wan mail :)

haa ini la die impian saya.haha siap tulis surat untuk anak2 lagi.haha bosan punya pasal.hmm k la saya nak study untuk mase depan saya.kbai :D