i'm so curious of how rich people live their lives.i mean you have like millions.how do you guys live with that?i mean i love reading architectural books.and there's a hell lot of crazy houses out there here in malaysia that costs more than my life.you know what?posting these kind of shit just shows ungrateful i am.when really,i am more than happy with my life right now.alhamdulillah.

everything is spinning in my head.i'm lost.deep in the ocean.i am so numb.

misses schmises

i miss my dad :(

i miss someone pointing on the right way.
i miss the support.
i miss the advices.
i miss the hugs.
i miss the jokes.
i miss the night kisses.
i miss the switching off lights routine.
i miss saturday morning.
i miss long holidays.
i miss visiting places.
i miss a hand to hold.
i miss family outing.
i miss family dinners.
i miss running to the door to greet you home.
i miss the concerns.
i miss a leader.
i miss a guy in my life.

i miss everything about you ayah. :(

i.just.miss.you.

freed

as i expected.it did blew my mind.the trilogy is a perfectly written book.i did stop myself from moaning undesirably while reading this piece and i managed to hold back some unshed tears.for someone who's heart is made out of glass,i succeeded. though my inner goddess wanted to shout and cry as loud as she wants but i just can't let her cause it's not the society's definition of 'how you feel after reading a goddamn book'.well i beg to differ.yes i can't deny the sex,it's too much even. but i personally think that this could still be a darn good book without the sex.anyone with me?no?okay maybe a tiny bit of it?or you know what?the amount of sex in this book is perfectly fine.i thought that the author delivered everything really well.but i must say that i've struggled to imagine some scenes.well you gotta imagine to really fathom now right?

50 shades of fucked up?

i just bought the trilogy of 50 shades of grey.i gotta be honest with you,i only was attracted to read it because of the coitus that everyone has been talking about.but after solemnly taking myself into the book,i could see how achingly beautiful people could fall in love with each other.i must say,even the characters aren't real but amy steele in a one lucky lady.she resonates my life in a nutshell but only the part when she can't believe that every good thing's happened to her.

i told myself not to write about this book but i couldn't contain myself.i'm just so excited but as i read it,i only kept a straight face whilst my inner goddess in jumping up with joy.it's not the excessive amount of sex that they're having i'm happy about.but how this man who is so reluctant in having an emotional relationship and is oh so cold above the surface could surrender himself with pain just to make this girl happy.it's so touching.i cried countless times but most of the time i was just being impassive.it is certainly a well written novel and the best part is, it's a trilogy.i've done reading the first two and now i'm down with one more.though i'd be so sad if i'm done with the last one.

saying that i'm in love with christian grey wouldn't be an odd thing, as everyone feels the same.this book is just exciting to read.if this were real.i'd really like to see how christian really looks like.he sounds scrumptiously delicious and toxically hot.but of it all,he's got a huge heart very huge that half of it is filled with his dark secret and insecurities.

writing this down doesn't give me the slightest gratification to what my eyes just witnessed.this book is more than what i could describe it to be.some may say i'm exaggerating well maybe  -.- but try.try diving in and prove me wrong.

i really can't comment much as i'm not done reading the last.but i'm sure it'll take my feet off the ground as what the fist two has done to me.i was on cloud nine.the last is thicker than the first two but imma try my best to finish it asap.i can't wait myself :)

life is actually beautiful if you look it in every way.

am i in a way, being hypocrite? cause i watched this one movie called cruel intention and i'm sure you guys did too,there's this scene where ryan phillpe's character is deeply in love with reese witherspoon's character.so in my case i'm just gonna replace the guy's name with A and the girl's name with B.so A was like begging B to accept his love cause B just threw him off and he said 'you are a hypocrite!you always talk about love and now i am standing right in front of you but you do nothing' i didn't completely remember the exact words but it was something like that.so i was thinking,A's situation is just like mine.i have always been so envy with people who are in love with a hope that one day i will have a boyfriend of my own or a loving husband for that matter, but there comes a point where someone likes me but i just shut my system down and kept telling myself that i'm not ready.i am all hoo-haa-ey about wanting to be in love but i haven't reach the state where i'm ready to be in love you know? so in my case,ought i distinguish between wanting and not wanting?though i want but i don't want and i don't want but i reallllyyyy want.it is as complicated as it sound.or is this a girl's normal behavior?am i scared or am i just not ready?

if im a killa

i feel like scratching his face off just so he can't see and let him know how it feels like to be an underdog.i was thinking of killing him but i thought it was too hardcore and i'd be arrested for murder  in which case i'll be convicted and charged under section 300 of the penal code and it takes a whole lot of procedures and shit so imma be tired.the easiest way is to just scratch his face off with one of wolverine's blades and just live life to the fullest.

but first i have to make sure that he doesnt see me approaching him.so i should be above him or behind him.the idea is to take him to a dark road and beat the shit out of him until he like past out and vividly draw something on his face with this sharp blade.

and when he's up he'd be like 'why can't i see anything' and stuff and imma be like 'you're blind douchebag!that's why' and imma be lolling and rolling.he'd scream so loud and go to some crowded place and be like ' help me sir,someone did this to me,i can't see' while crying like a baby.he'll take a taxi home and regret his whole life.

haaaa that feels so good.

i feel so terrible.that would describe everything about me at the moment.