not so good but good :D

hello sweeties :)) how have you guys been?me?great i've been great :) so i just came back from u -know-where :) yes pavilion,ye aku mmg suka pergi situ maaf kepada yang x puas hati dan kate ade tmpt lain lgi,x,xde tmpt yang sama dengan pavi.hahah so moving on,i went there dengan kakak and ina.kitorang betolak ke sana pade jam 8 mlm td haha lmbt gila kan -.- x puas :( tapi x mengapa.so first stop was of course la the atm kan,untuk withdrawal some moneh!:) then kitorg ternmpk satu tmpt yang baru dan sangat menarik okay.the place is just behind hot and rolls,the it is named SNO.it is a place where u could either order a milk shake or frozen yougurt which is way more cheaper than tutti fruity and worth paying for.so the sister bought herself frozen yogurt and strawberry,i on the other hand ordered myself a milk shake snikers and forerro,yup it was blended together and turned out to be so good mannn!i like that place,and guess what?u could order your choice using the ipad attached dekat meja tmpt order tu.the place looks like this.

ni ipad yang dikatakan itu,namun ade lg 2 disebelah aku tngkap satu ja -.-

ni akak akak aku bersama kedai sno .:)

then lepas da habis minum semua,first stop cotton on as usual and bought a blue jacket which i personally like so much :) because it was on sale,so i bought it for rm49.oo from rm99 how cool right?yes i'm happy :) habis pergi cotton ,then we went to forever 21,and bought this turquoise coloured shawl :) setelah aku da happy semua dapat beli,then aku pon baru teringt nak beli satu beg yang aku da lama target di top shop seperti dibawah yang hanya berharga rm 56.00 :) oh and the shawl rm 49 :) heheh da beli semua kami pon pulang la dengan hati yang gembira.tapi ade satu benda yang sungguh malang berlaku pada aku,i'll show them after these pictures of me memperagakan barang baru :)

shawl turquoise from forever 21. :)

the blue jacket from cotton on :)

the bag from top shop :)

me with all stated above.hahah.

oh and the maxi skirt i bought from pull and bear :)

and maaf dengan kain dibelakang -.-

jap before i tunjuk the pictures yang i promised earlier,we also stopped at shimono japanese crepes :)

okay so da habis tengok gambar semua kan :) haa here comes the bad news,mase nak balik tu,nak turun pergi parking kene la naik escalator kan,like duh ueen -.- okay okay,then this happened.

fyi,tu bulu kaki peha aku so..ignore

kain i tersekat dekat celah escalator tu then all these grease pon melekat :( sedih gila and this maxi skirt happen to be my favourite.haih nasib ibu kate boleh hilang kalau x mmg yang baru aku beli -..- first belah kanan kene then time aku nak tangkap gmbr belah kanan untuk masukkan ke blog,yang belah kiri pon terkene juga.how sad -.- x mengapa,hoping that it wll hilang by tomorrow.fingers crossed . and before that,a big thank you to maria elena zarul for teaching cara pakai tudung kbai.

short update.

i kept silent doesn't mean that i'm okay with it,i laugh doesn't mean i 'm happy,i smile doesn't mean that all pains are cured.i just need u to understand what i'm going through.that's it.just be in my shoes for a change.please,consider others while making decisions.although everything will be fine,but the bruise will always be there.please play fair.

woi samsul read this.

hello pembaca pembaca yang setia membace blog saya yang x seberapa ni.selamat datang.-.-.have u ever felt like u did something wrong when u didn't and u feel so guilty like shit?have you?yes i'm in that mood currently.sangat x suka.mengapa harus aku rase serba salah aku x pasti.dan aku sangat x suka.huh.okay enough.esok harus aku pergi ke cotton on!ade sale weh!aku nk nk nk sampai mati!muahahah samsul if u're reading this.blnje me.kbai

convocations.

as you can see from the picture above,from the left,is my brother,me and my sis yang convo tu.i tell u la fello readers.i don't dig convocations.i mean it's like seriously boring!and all these "baget bagus " people tend to come late sbb vip la kan.hello tolong la,tinggi mana je kau?ikut je ah jadual doh,ni mcm bodoh semua parents kene ddk pastu bgn then tgk kau sembang kat tgh tu,pastu kene bgn balik.ish apa la.huh okay enough with being emotional.so yeah congrats to my sis for finally owning a diploma.aku lambat lagi nyah nak dapt tu,tu pon x dpt dip dpt dig je-.- oh and i don't wanna go to any convos after this.sangat memenatkan.x best pon,well of course kalau aku yang amek so,excited la.muahahahahaha so yeah,i'm too tired to type la.kbai

a very cold night yet empty.

goodnight earthlings.how are you?good?great.huh,i am so tired yes tired from not doing anything.tired to always hear what my emotion's got to say.tired of all the scenes i see everyday and i'm sure tired with all the shits in life.i've tried being okay with it but i can't,it's too much.i can't stand the pain.it hurts so bad that sometimes i feel blinded buy those feelings.every word that came out from that mouth i have to say,had held me in grudge but i am not a fellow who hold such thing.now,i am literally holding on a threat,i don't know who is reliable at the moment.who should i turn to?the emptiness had grown bigger very now and then.i can't go on this way.i,at one point,have this eagerly feeling to just give up but out of nowhere i came back in to finish what i've started,but then came a new obstacle.why?why is this happening?i can no longer stop my patience from bursting out.i'm afraid if i can't differentiate the minion and the master.i'm afraid i'll live in regret forever.how long more shall i wait?how much tears shall i cry?how many angry thoughts shall i put in?please do leave me with an answer.i need to know.at least,i can have the idea as i am drowning and struggling in the middle of the ocean.i need space,i need time,i need support and i need people around me.i am not strong nor do i have powers.when i fall,i need someone to pull me back up,not left me there crying.i need someone to tell me that "it's gonna be okay,i'll be there for you." but who will it be?i need to know who.who will be that one person who will wait for me at the door with my coat in his hands for every time an event has come to an end.or do i have to wait the one who took care of me since i was a little girl,is it possible?is it possible that she'll come back to me?all i can see when thinking of her is an image being pulled away from me.she's gone now.all the elders are now growing up to start a family but as for me?where shall i go?where shall i lean on?who shall i look for if i need to travel around the world?if i need a new handbag from prada or even when i feel left?yes exactly,i'm talking to u my unknown lover.when can we meet?when where will it be?how will it be?hmm all i know is,i hope that thee will love me for who i am.take good care of me and protect me from this dangerous world.still waiting and hoping.kbai hahaa

appreciation.

just when i thought everything was falling into place but u just have to ruin it all.thank you.

yay meh!

happy 2.08 am people :) while typing,i'm listening to the stereotype song from my wall,and it sure is about stereotype -.- okay back to the main point.so i'm feeling slightly alive right now and i don't really know why.i just wanna enjoy life and forget all the stupid shenanigans that is happening.aku nak jalan jalan tengok dunia sampai puas! hehhehe kbai

shakespear.

currently it's raining so heavily outside and i feel so alone.this situation has really opened my eyes to "damn straight!people in this world are cruel" yeah it did.but i'm still confused with all this confusion in my head as i don't really know what i'm actually thinking nor picking.being grumpy from the 7 dwarfs is not cool cause u like get mad every time and people don't turn to u for advice.things on the other hand are starting to be so irrelevant.despite that i don't have a dad,and regardlessly that my mum is in a relationship,i for one don't feel the love at all.call me a you-don't-know-how-to-be-thankful-girl, but seriously dude.i need some love.my life is holding on a threat.yes i am being too melodramatic but that's pretty much the story of my life NOW.i am so on the edge right now.i'm so positively sure that people,get their dreams right because of love and i need one now!no i don't want a boyfriend nor do i need a lesbian partner to make me feel good.i just want my mum.that's it.is that too much maybe?huh just stop playing with your role of being the step mum and please step into my delightful reality where your role is to be my-blood-related-sharing-the-same-DNA mum.i seriously love u mother i mean who doesn't?if she did not rocked my world and had fun playing wrestling for almost everyday,i wouldn't have wasted my time writing this blog about her and that i should just talk about some other mum.i really can't explain the feeling i'm feeling right now.it's a combination of sad,hate,alone,despise(which is pretty much the same as hate,but i imagined despise to be more fierce -.- i know) and what? yes annoyed.i hate to have this hate feeling towards the person i love most but sometimes i just can't control.it's awkward to even make jokes when she's around knowing that she will not laugh and only will when MR.Y calls.yeah how fun my life turned out to be :D pfffttt.i know i should be greatful and blah blah but i am being greatful.i am being greatful that i have this rockin mum but changed under some circumstances.yes people!i've become crazy and crazier each day and i'm so not me while typing this.so i shall hit the hay and just buzz me if u need anything.i'll be around 24/7.NOT!kbai

u got prob?

hello,:) so just now i went to pavillion seperti biase.kan tmpt tu rumah aku -.- okay so yeah i bought some things that i'm very happy of heheh nanti nak beli lagi.cuti 2 bulan lebih but i don't feel the excitement at all.well kalau shopping excited la kot -.- hmmm i need money man!i wanna be rich.i wanna be able to buy things i like dayummm shizznit.-.- puhlissssss.kbai

a story of i hate.

i hate liars.yes,we can't escape from the fact that we all lie every minute every second and of course kalau da ade every minute and second mesti la everyday kan?huh damn la,kalau nak tipu just so u can escape from looking stupid then that's fine,but the hell la lying sampai siap da kene caught lying ni tapi tetap nak lie lagi untuk cover up lie sebelum nya.adoi mmg aku x tahan la kan.aku x tau la apa punca die dok menipu ni.to make people look stupid or to make u urself look stupid?ala kalau cm ni mesti nak bagi org nmpk bodoh punya la,xde pasai nak bg diri sendiri nampak bodoh.ut the question is still WHY!WHY and why?apakah sebab anda menipu?ye saya tau saya x sepatutnya sibok i mean it's your fucking life kan?kenapa pula aku nak sibok kan?cite sana sini,but hey awak *tap on your shoulder* awak tipu saya mentah2 tau,awak tau x saya terase?tipu hari ni x pe,ni esok luse pon still tipu lagi.tipu kawan awak pula tu.one more that i've notice la kan,aku sangt emo dengan perkara ni,kenapa?sebab ni 1st time aku kene dan x sangka dari kau.i mean u can do better la weh.wadehel la?haih u're downgrading yourself.like superly done.and superly is not even a word.cause kau terlalu high rank nya.kau ingat cm "wah terel aku menipu,xde org notice" say what?seriously gal?u wanna go there?haih."jahat nya la kau buat cerita pasal aku kan" x sayang ,i x buat cerita psal u,but i just nak mencerita kan balik cerita cerita yang u cerita kat i tu.yes,i would like the world to know juga aku kawan ngn siapa.bangga namanya :) just stop with ur stupid game of lying.kau memperbodoh kan diri kau je.semua pon da tau.tapi still nak lagi menipu.ye sayang semua da tau,"memang la org tau kau yang cerita " nope didn't said a word.org semua nmpk sendiri dan sangat ketara.a word of advice,lain kali kalau nak tipu,buat biase2 okay?jangan kasi sampai semua org tau.cause it's too much so yeah that's it.thank u :)

relieved.

Being patient and bringing myself closer to HIM is the only thing i can do now.besides,HE created me,so HE should know where my happy button is :) the only thing that i'm hoping for right now is to just get through with it and most vital,being okay while going through it.yeah.enough with the tears for i know that there must be a millions of reasons of why did this happened at the 1st place.i'm just gonna leave everything to him :) i have been through a bigger lost but i survived so,this is just another obstacle for me to achieve my dreams.

p/s:

i love u mum no matter what happens insyaallah. :D u taught me to be strong and now i'm practicing it.Although i'm not as strong as u r,but i'll try.just one thing,i need to know that you will support me in anything i do even in my most vulnerable time,yes that was what u did for the past 19 years haven't u?no i mean when u own a new family.please always be there for me okay ?:) i love u with all my heart and soul.oh and don't ever change,u r the only mum i know that rocks my world.

fly away.

although things won't change no,.i know.but i'm still hoping it will.i miss everything about the past.every single bit.but what i miss the most is my father,yes it's wrong to think about the dead but he was my father.a good father,a good husband,a good boss,a good son,a good brother,and of course was a good leader.i know i've said this for so many times but,it still hurts to automatically adapt the life that i'm still not used to.it feels so empty.yes i miss my mum,but she's a different person now.she's not the same.i miss the old her.sometimes looking at her,i feel like jumping towards her and hug her but that was how i felt 5 years ago.now..everything is not like before like i said more than gazillion times now.losing someone u love is hard.yes.it's very hard.i've lost my father,and although my mum is still here but it's like she's not.she has her own life now.i'm not sure if she still cares about me which i know deep down she does.a decision that we all have to agree with now but by far the hardest.kbai.

bored.

rebecca sucks.

hello earthlings :) how are u all today?it's 19.35 in the evening and still the bored-ness in me didn't get any lesser.i wonder,how would people from other culture go through this tremendous change?what i've learnt in law,saying that in the us,they interpret individualistic norm.meaning that whether u are old or young mother or father,hak tu tetap hak.hak individu.tu la kalau kita tengok movies semua bila anak jerit "i hate u mum!" then mak die cm buat muka pasrah sambil berade dlm keadaan tenang sbb anak die ade hak nak benci.haa cm tu la.but it is so different with what we're living in.kita kene hormat parents,x boleh tinggi suara and syurga di bawah telapak kaki mak kita.but kita juga mempraktikkan untuk menghormati sesama sendiri.org tua kene respect org muda and org muda kene respect yang tua.jadi kan,kalau org tu x respect kita tapi die x tua,still kita kene respect die juga ke?i mean hypothetically la kan,u work the ur boss yang tua marah2,kita kene senyap je ke?we have our rights kan?jadinya cm mana?ke theory yang aku bentangkan ni salah?huh i don't even wanna go any further.kbai

pass is pass.

alhamdulillah da sampai rumah :) but i sensed something in this house.it doesnt feel like home no more.i just don't know y.everything has changed even the lilttlest bit weh.it's no longer the place where i am always eager to go to.it feels soo empty.if i'd to compare between uitm and here i'd choose uitm.the vibe here feels so dull so empty and so nothing.i can't wait to move outta here.can't wait to have my own crib.i wanna start a new life.hmmmmmm but it's better if things in here changes.i wanna see seua jadi like before.i miss it :'(.i guess the "before" feeling to memang susah la nak dapat kan balik as semua benda da berubah kan.so yeah i just have to bear with it and just follow the flow.x sabar nak sambung degree and live with the gals.and stat a real life a real teenage life before semua sibok dengan kerja.insyaallah.

you are nothing.

i really fucking hate you right now.i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you i hate you aku ebnci kau sekarang ni macam naik gila tau!kenapalah kau buat aku cm ni.haih aku tau aku x balik pon x pe tau!malu la aku ngn org ni cm ni.x sdar diri.babiiiiiiii babiiiiiii babiiii baiiii i wish kita x related.huh i really hate u to the fullest gila babi!gila babi gila babi!huh i just hope that one day ALLAH will open my heart and tell me not to get mad at you and just stay with my life without involving her.AKU BENCI KAU ! cepat sikit balik kl so that i can stay inside the room so x yah tengok muka kau.benci sangat sangat.menaikkan lagi dose aku je.kbai

u suck la babi.

aku x tau la kenapa i was born this way.huh aku cam tension gila weh.this way aku x balik pon x pe.i feel so fucked right now and i cant wait to go home to kl.kbai

yoddle.

assalamualaikum.hello eveyone.how's it goin yall?okay i'm super excited that yesterday's the end of the second semester.but yeah i'm still in merbok haven't balik yet memandangkan my mum and sister is still not here.i pon x mandi lagi -...-.okee yesterday pukul 9-12 am paper bel 260 alamdulillah and 2-15-4-15 pm paper library.before paper library i was like "dan i don't know what's in ma head like gurh!" than bila da dapat dengan tenangnya saya membuka pape tersebut dan jawab satu satu.sedang saya menjawab dengan amannya soalan legal research iaitu soalan part B number 1."dang!it's 3.40 oready?" then i was like whoa habis la aku x de mase.part aku siapkan dari 2.40 kot sampai 3.10 semuanya sebab apa mla style tu.tension then tengok jam da 3.15 relax lagi untuk aku sipakan legal research aku.tengok balik jam "dayumm it's 3.40." haa aku baru siap legal research ade lagi 3 soalan dibelakang.aku pon terus buat soalan due.distinguish between catchnote and headnote? damn!okay aku pon buat then alhamdullah ade juga secondary islamic law die nak QIAS IJMA' AND URF.alhamdulillah.then soalan 3 cd-rom?i didn't read that at all tpi nasib aku tau sikit then goreng.yang aku cuak gila is yang blakang tu advantage and disadvantage of computer.takut gila xde mase sbb bila aku buat mmg la panjang kan so aku cepat cepat jawab yang depan tu and kan i got confused for the answer between qiyas and urf.pastu i tinggalkan than buat la essay soalan 4 sampai lebam then da siap aku sempat la nak buat yang agama tu pastu tgk tgk mase lebih dari cukup aku terus jadi krik krik-.- then aku buka buka la semua jawapan yang da aku jawab .alhamdullah semua akay.sekarang aku harap that pointer bagi sem ni minx minx la tinggi sikit dan aku sangat berharap moga x yah nak repeat paper.huh kbai

habis sudah.

yay me !:) aku berjya jawab paper saiko dengan jayanya insyaallah :) am so happy and 2 more paper to go ngee x sabaq eh aku nak balik aku nak beli barang yang patut and actually enjoy mase cuti nanti huh sangat sangat relief ah gitu . oh and kitorang x jadi la pergi penang due to the tsunanmi melanda-ing jepan and maybe to sabah and sarawak juga serta kelantan dan kedah.sangat takut la hmmm i hope everything will be fine insyaallah. bottom line is i'm happy as hell hehe to-do-list

• sleep like there's no tomorrow
• study library pula.
• bace buku untuk bel (novel)
• sleep again and wallah!
• i'm home baby :)

sangat happy dan antar activity yang bakal dilakukan dirumah ialah

• watch movies from mah lap top.
• shopping of course
• oh and a new bicycle.

hehhe okay lame-ooooo but look at my face.does it say that i'd cry if it's lame?no.yes damn straight!kbai

see who's me.

alhamdulillah test intro to law 2 da habis :))) so lusa tunggu paper saiko pula and my carry mark cam x bagus langsung like seriously i got like 20 percent out of fortayyyyy i mean who does that betch?huh i have to pump up my volume and work harder for the saiko paper.gila weh.i am so wasted and stoned right and what i'm talking about here cam ntah pape.aku pening tapi bukan pening pon but saje rase nak tulis macam2.huh aku nak sambung tesl ke law je teruih?kalau law cam best tapi cam beban gila then kalau tesl kene jadi lecturer je lah keje yang aku ade aku pula mmg cm x minat langsung nak ajar ajar ni and i'm so not a teacher material weh like believe me.-.-huh so i think i'm going with law la kot.insyaallah i'll do my best untuk semua paper and ketepikan carry marks yang rendah dan berusaha lebih.i can do it amin :) and wait for me muet.u owe me something.BIGGG TIMMMEEE! end.

t.

2 more days to finals. :) there's a part in me yang sangat x sabar dan ade juga yang sangat sangat sabar.habis law boleh tahan lagi the saiko pula then cuti 2 hari library and bel.hmmm mcm mane la keputusan aku nnt.so saya sangat x sabar nak kelik ye.x tau napa.kbai

jazmine zaidan.

ye maafkan saya atas kelambatan untuk meng upload gambar gambar tika jazmine zaidan mai kat kedah yang amat panas ni :) so inilah die gang kami gang *hey girlfriends!* hehehe sebelah saya fee sya farhana dan atikah azlan :) yang tangkap opkos tikah rose.heheh.ni mase challenge group.kita kene dress kan die ikut theme pre law iaitu hitam putih and make it menarik :) oh and yang model nya fee sya tu die dapat simpan baju bai :)

yes ini dia jazmine zaidan dan die sangat termamatlah kecil :)

*mase ni die tengah consult so yeah *.

me fee sya farahana and lalan.

ni mase fashion show tu :) and fee sya dapat top three tapi kalah juga yang menang is tasha the one from the left yang hujung sana dengan beg merah :)

then last skali tangkap gambar ramai2 :) y aku dibelakang tu namun aku dipuji oleh jazmine okay.kau ade?kbai

the day we went away.

anda pelik kami berpakaian sopan?atau ade yang baru prasan and will be like "aite baju kurung semua eh?*then scroll atas atau x payah dan terus memerhati dengan lebih teliti*.okay aku buang mase-.- haa time ni berlaku hari senin memang la pakai baju kuwung weh.haa and terima kasih kepada boyfriend fee sya yang masih dalam kereta iaitu GIGI kerana bagi pinjam kereta hehehe kami pon straight la ke no where else to go iaitu lagi central square.haa bunyi gah gitu --.- okay la kan.then kami pon membeli belah la kan then seperti gambar di atas sekali saya sedang berposing dengan buku yess saya rajin :) ni juga crew yang akan ke penang bersama :) oh and rose yang tangkap hehe yang ka kedai buku dapat 1 and nasib aku la kan gmbr aku clear hehe sbb org tu ckp x boleh tangkap gambaq.haih kedekutss..kbai

last day.

3 days of not updating this blog has made me lifeless more than ever.haha i forgot about you la.berhabok da.okeee so on the 3rd march sums up the whole second semester.yes time do move fast macam the flash aku nak masok my senior year da.this semester is the best same goes to last sem juga la.sbb macam2 sangat berlaku and it's all priceless.i love my classmates sampai bilo2 pong.really hope that we could meet again kat shah alam nnt and be neighbours.hehhe.so these are some pics edited by atyqahrose.so yeah enjoy :)

bace doa lepas azan zohor hehe

so yeah these are some pictures of us.so insyaallah we'll meet again anytime soon.like i said neighbours ya sayang ku ?hehehe

singkat

i'm feeling kind of lazy lately.sangat sangat.second semester is by far the best but then again sangat singkat dan cepat dan memenatkan.-.-minggu depan will be the final paper then off tu penang :) i'm happy la after tension2 kita jalan jalan pula.can't wait weh.then nak kene balik pula tu pon kalau ade org nak amek.huh seriously i'm so tired of stydying weh.yes i know yang lain pon but it's like x de apa dalam otak aku!can i do my finals atau aku akan terkantoi?where should i start first?law?library or psycho?yang mana?bel bila pula?adoi!sangat banyak nak menghapai nya.okay x pe insyaallah aku boleh bahagi kan mase.yang buat aku sngat tension is the time yang sangat singkat.boleh ke aku masukkan kan semua dalam otak dlm mase yang singkat ni?can i?can i?da la gap kejap2 je-.- i should start now kan rather than updating thing blog but i need tu kosingkan dulu then i'll start.kbai nak memebersihkan diri chiow.

confession.

i no longer have interest in any social network except twitter.

-end-

normal.

i'm the c=kind of person who can detect you face.well i'm certainly not saying that i am gifted no,but let's just say that i'm one of the lucky ones lah.bukan apa,cm kau marah kan,so aku x la dekat ngn kau smpai kau reda.then da reda baru kita tanya haa cm tu mudah kan.i get this banyak kali.orang yang marah aku for no solid reason.cm like before semua cm best best gelak gelak and all,but 5 minutes after that kau tetiba jeling aku and refuse to walk with me.it hurts to be sometimes but i'm sure ramai je yang pernah alami kan.x la cm kita nak ckp tapi die buat muka benci siapa yang suka.kadang kadang rase nak tengking pon ade tapi siapalah kita nak pakse semua suka kita kan.mesti ade ups and downs die so i biar kan aja.nanti elok la tu.huh so tu je lah.kesabaran tu penting.sabar sabar dan sabar sampai ke cerah ye rakan rakan :)