if i'm willing to take the risk. i'd do it a long time ago.

the problem is i don't even know who i really am.

how can i cross boundaries?

one thing fo sho.

i am a coward.

kalau dunia semudah menutup mata dan semua jadi kenyataan,nescaya tak kan ade seorang pon manusia yang akan berusaha.

"boleh tak bila aku tutup mata dan bila buka semuanya dah lepas.aku x jawab periksa"

if anyone could wish for anything,this would be the top rated wish aku rase.

urrghh this is killing me.

asked myself, kenapa tak ambil tessl je at first,but then again who's to be blamed?i chose this myself kenapa kau nak menangis sekarang gila?

you got yourself into this trouble, then find your way out of it.

tho there's only one way.

finish it.

yesterday at 12, me and my housemates went singing our asses off .we went to the karaoke nearby and i gotta say that i felt relieved after yelling so loud. then at about 2 or 3, we went huge house hunting. looking for beautiful designs for our future houses heheh. and there's this one enormous house that i don't even know how to begin with. it was soooo biiiigggggggggggg okay that's enough

final lagi berapa belas hari je lagi.and im not gonna lie, this is scary and i cant keep my head straight.heart is pumping so hard.i'm scared.

i know that you're never coming back, but somehow i am still waiting.

patiently.

today was my last class for the extra curricular activity.i'm glad that the lecturer know of my existence.i also managed to get the highest carry mark for both individual presentation and forum.i'm thankful :D
i guess that's the highlight of my day.

i do not have anything to do and so i thought that i'd upload some photos of my favorite places :)

this is my study table :)

this is my room :)

PERFECT DOESNT EXIST!GET THAT IN YOUR HEAD AND MOVE ON!STOP BEING SO DELUSIONAL STUPID!STEP INTO THE REAL WORLD.WORK YOUR ASS OFF AND TRY.

here i am sitting in front of my laptop literally smiling for no reason :) i feel happy that i've decided to change the position of my furnitures.

the reason why i love imagining living in london and that is obviously my dream DUH is because i wanna feel the feeling i felt when i went there with my family.my dad.london is the place i wanna be in.i will be in.

i'm so curious of how rich people live their lives.i mean you have like millions.how do you guys live with that?i mean i love reading architectural books.and there's a hell lot of crazy houses out there here in malaysia that costs more than my life.you know what?posting these kind of shit just shows ungrateful i am.when really,i am more than happy with my life right now.alhamdulillah.

everything is spinning in my head.i'm lost.deep in the ocean.i am so numb.

misses schmises

i miss my dad :(

i miss someone pointing on the right way.
i miss the support.
i miss the advices.
i miss the hugs.
i miss the jokes.
i miss the night kisses.
i miss the switching off lights routine.
i miss saturday morning.
i miss long holidays.
i miss visiting places.
i miss a hand to hold.
i miss family outing.
i miss family dinners.
i miss running to the door to greet you home.
i miss the concerns.
i miss a leader.
i miss a guy in my life.

i miss everything about you ayah. :(

i.just.miss.you.

freed

as i expected.it did blew my mind.the trilogy is a perfectly written book.i did stop myself from moaning undesirably while reading this piece and i managed to hold back some unshed tears.for someone who's heart is made out of glass,i succeeded. though my inner goddess wanted to shout and cry as loud as she wants but i just can't let her cause it's not the society's definition of 'how you feel after reading a goddamn book'.well i beg to differ.yes i can't deny the sex,it's too much even. but i personally think that this could still be a darn good book without the sex.anyone with me?no?okay maybe a tiny bit of it?or you know what?the amount of sex in this book is perfectly fine.i thought that the author delivered everything really well.but i must say that i've struggled to imagine some scenes.well you gotta imagine to really fathom now right?

50 shades of fucked up?

i just bought the trilogy of 50 shades of grey.i gotta be honest with you,i only was attracted to read it because of the coitus that everyone has been talking about.but after solemnly taking myself into the book,i could see how achingly beautiful people could fall in love with each other.i must say,even the characters aren't real but amy steele in a one lucky lady.she resonates my life in a nutshell but only the part when she can't believe that every good thing's happened to her.

i told myself not to write about this book but i couldn't contain myself.i'm just so excited but as i read it,i only kept a straight face whilst my inner goddess in jumping up with joy.it's not the excessive amount of sex that they're having i'm happy about.but how this man who is so reluctant in having an emotional relationship and is oh so cold above the surface could surrender himself with pain just to make this girl happy.it's so touching.i cried countless times but most of the time i was just being impassive.it is certainly a well written novel and the best part is, it's a trilogy.i've done reading the first two and now i'm down with one more.though i'd be so sad if i'm done with the last one.

saying that i'm in love with christian grey wouldn't be an odd thing, as everyone feels the same.this book is just exciting to read.if this were real.i'd really like to see how christian really looks like.he sounds scrumptiously delicious and toxically hot.but of it all,he's got a huge heart very huge that half of it is filled with his dark secret and insecurities.

writing this down doesn't give me the slightest gratification to what my eyes just witnessed.this book is more than what i could describe it to be.some may say i'm exaggerating well maybe  -.- but try.try diving in and prove me wrong.

i really can't comment much as i'm not done reading the last.but i'm sure it'll take my feet off the ground as what the fist two has done to me.i was on cloud nine.the last is thicker than the first two but imma try my best to finish it asap.i can't wait myself :)

life is actually beautiful if you look it in every way.

am i in a way, being hypocrite? cause i watched this one movie called cruel intention and i'm sure you guys did too,there's this scene where ryan phillpe's character is deeply in love with reese witherspoon's character.so in my case i'm just gonna replace the guy's name with A and the girl's name with B.so A was like begging B to accept his love cause B just threw him off and he said 'you are a hypocrite!you always talk about love and now i am standing right in front of you but you do nothing' i didn't completely remember the exact words but it was something like that.so i was thinking,A's situation is just like mine.i have always been so envy with people who are in love with a hope that one day i will have a boyfriend of my own or a loving husband for that matter, but there comes a point where someone likes me but i just shut my system down and kept telling myself that i'm not ready.i am all hoo-haa-ey about wanting to be in love but i haven't reach the state where i'm ready to be in love you know? so in my case,ought i distinguish between wanting and not wanting?though i want but i don't want and i don't want but i reallllyyyy want.it is as complicated as it sound.or is this a girl's normal behavior?am i scared or am i just not ready?

if im a killa

i feel like scratching his face off just so he can't see and let him know how it feels like to be an underdog.i was thinking of killing him but i thought it was too hardcore and i'd be arrested for murder  in which case i'll be convicted and charged under section 300 of the penal code and it takes a whole lot of procedures and shit so imma be tired.the easiest way is to just scratch his face off with one of wolverine's blades and just live life to the fullest.

but first i have to make sure that he doesnt see me approaching him.so i should be above him or behind him.the idea is to take him to a dark road and beat the shit out of him until he like past out and vividly draw something on his face with this sharp blade.

and when he's up he'd be like 'why can't i see anything' and stuff and imma be like 'you're blind douchebag!that's why' and imma be lolling and rolling.he'd scream so loud and go to some crowded place and be like ' help me sir,someone did this to me,i can't see' while crying like a baby.he'll take a taxi home and regret his whole life.

haaaa that feels so good.

i feel so terrible.that would describe everything about me at the moment.

i think too much.but who doesn't?

perfect

it seems to me that i'll be celebrating 2013 without any changes.i haven't changed a bit.physically nor mentally.no matter how many times i tell myself to change,but never did.no i'm not gonna tell myself that my resolution would be to be a new me.cause believe me,the new me is still the old me.geddit?huh what's the use,i'm speaking gibberish.nothing that comes out of my mind is intellectual.i'm always so playful and and i use 'me' a lot.

need i say more?

i don't wanna write something that i'll regret later.so i might as well just keep it to myself.okay this may sound weird and "that will never happen like ever" tapi i think i love cooking.well not cooking,but baking.i know this is somehow senseless considering that i've never even tried it like passionately,though i have tried once,making a ginger butter man but that's not the point.i want to try doing something nice.i have been following this blog http://www.cannellevanille.com/ and it inspired in a lot of ways.first is the way she takes the pictures.they're magnificent and the food looks great!second,the food are gluten free and thirdly imma live healthy ever after.i really wanna go to the nearest bookstore right now and look for her recipe book.ABBA bookstore confirm xde. -.- so MPH it is.maybe nanti.thank u for inspiring me :')

adam levine's voice is so sexy.why are all the sexy guys not here in malaysia?kenapa bukan orang islam adam! -.- okay so today was explorace day.i thought that it was gonna be so tiring but i was wrong.it was fun actually.at least i laughed a lot. enought of glidders and budderflies.

sometimes i feel stupid.

my fear increases on every thursday.wanna know why?because it's curriculum day.huh i hope that today is gonna be fun.-.- but as always,fun was never the word.all we do for 1 hour or 45 minutes is wait for the time to fly.my coco is quite interesting.but somehow LONG STORY SHORT NO COCO FOR TODAY! :)

i wanna go back to my room.

i'm so pissed.my brother's inside my room.bummer.so here i am sitting in the ruang tamu.i wish my sister ina was here.i'd have someone to talk to.i'll be back in shah alam on the 7th kot.tomorrow letak barang barang semua.huh k

'aku rase kau kenal dengan boyfriend kau pastu terus kahwin'

more than 5 people said the same thing to me.tapi kita cuma predict.semua nya di tangan tuhan kan?x mungkin aku akan dapat perkahwinan yang sempurna dan penuh dengan nur sebab aku ni bukan lah manusia yang baik sangat.aku buat silap juga,buat orang sakit hati,menyampah,ngumpat.ye aku buat juga benda benda tu.

jadi layak ke aku untuk dapt cinta di pandang pertama?aku yakin semua orang takut dengan perkahwinan.mana x nya,akan berpisah dengan ibu,layan suami,duduk serumah dgn lelaki yang dipuja selama ini(lol) dan paling penting,semua orang takut ianya berakhir dengan divorce.(cakap divorce instead of cerai sbb takut i'll jinx it walaupon same je -.-).

aku dah terfikir benda benda ni.aku tengah cuba untuk ubah diri ni.sbb orang kate,suami kita ni akan perangai sama dengan kita.ade sorg ustaz tu pernah cakap,haa baru ingt nama,dato' fadzillah kamsah cakap,kalau yang si perempuan asyik berdengki,maka yang laki pon asyik berdengki same,dan susah lah mereka nak berjumpa sebb dua2 berpaling arah kan.haa minta jauh lah.

aku pernah je ade perasaan cemburu semua.walaupon minor sahaja,tp kene lah kita elak.huh tapi aku hanya manusia.manusia yang cakap di mulut sahaja.

if fishes aren't fish and chickens aren't chicken,what would they be?

fish can be called jacob and chickens can be called trees.

but i was born on the 90's whereas life has started before me.

if i were assigned to be born first before my mum or alexander graham bell,i would have created the telephone or had re named the fishes and the tress.

unfortunately,if i knew then what i know now,i'd still be me.

i shall live as if santa exist,Godzilla came 5 years ago and dinosaurs still live.

this way,no one can come up to me and say i have an assignment.

i no longer have interest in typing long drowsy posts.i tend to think a lot as opposed to writing it.

i am starting to become a NO person.and that freaks me out.

i don't know what has gotten into me.i was never like this before.maybe it's just me.

the whole time.

patience has limits.jangan asyik nak cari salah orang je.cuba cermin diri tu.kadang kadang seseorang tu berubah sebab perangai orang lain.perangai tu,tolong lah ubah.

aku pon x sempurna,tapi aku tak pernah nak menyusahkan orang.

i used to have this friend who asks me if i was okay daily.

when the world was changing,he changed as well.

i am not ready to go back there.

i am happy here.with my friends in pd.

the best trip yet?just cause we haven't been to any other places.

i can't wait to mandi.K

keep telling myself that everything's gonna be fine.but will it?

my idol yuna failed once.but that didn't stop her from graduating....

i'm like a rotten machine.and machines don't even rot.that's how terrible my mental state of mind right now.positive vibes come to me.i need to live.please don't give up ueen.you're just one step closer.Allah is with you.there's a reason behind what's happened.maybe you'll get better grades?hmm biar lambat asal selamat?...huh i don't know what to say.yes,every successful person has failed once.if God will,i'll be one of them.this is just a small crack.i'll get it fixed.i promise!

i gotta say,i thank God for giving me the chance to fail on my first semester.cause if i've failed further up,i'd fall downhill.this is an experience that i sure don't wanna put myself into anymore.but words without actions is like crispy chicken without it's crispy skin.so imma zip my mouth until i do what i preach.

i.am.speechless.

rumah dah jumpa alhamdulillah.tapi nak tunggu orang pula.hmm semua datang time senang sahaja.setelah kita berusaha untuk mendapatkan mereka tempat berteduh,masih tidak pasti dengan keputusan masing2.sampai nya hati....

tapi tak pe,i'm like 45% ready in terms of stuff.bahan bahan untuk katil semua sudah sempurna.barang dapur insyaallah dah ade ibu nak bagi.dan baju semua nak kene beli lagi sikit.juga bag dan kasut baru.tudung pon,kene ade lots of them.

all in all,ni semua cm x penting sangat pon.yang penting result keluar 3hb ogos.hati berdebar tapi muka cool.kalau bukan seperti yang diexpect iaitu,no fail.jadi,mungkin hati akan runtuh.menangis kesedihan.tapi aku yakain dengan jawapan yang diberi.insyaallah.

semoga di bulan ramadhan,setimpal kesabaran akan diberikan kepada umat islam yang taat pada tuhan.ketabahan,dan keimanan.insyaallah.semoga perjalanan untuk ke menara gading tiada masalah untuk ditempuhi.semuanya,minta minta,berjalan dengan lancar.

result oh result.tolong lah jangan kecwakan aku.semoga semua nya yang sudah berusaa akan berjaya.mungkin ade yang dapat lebih dari apa yang diusahakan,bersyukur,dapat kurang dari yang impikan,bersyukur.ini semua ujian.tetapi persoalannya,boleh kah kita tabah menerima dengan redha bagi yang kurg memuaskan?

harap sangat result sem ni ok as in xde fail.bagi semangat untuk try harder YA ALLAH. :')

i am a strong woman.insyaallah

i can give out great motivations to people but me?i don't have any.

ramadha sudah tiba semoga semua tak ke mana.

okay lame pantun up there.so hey everyone :D lama dah tak update.well the first semester just ended.found us a place to live and imma grown up now -.- im 20 years old.hooray.....there's a lot to say before but i forgot.boi

alhamdulillah.with the help from kak siti,now we are secured with a house though i need to call the tenant first but i'm happy :) i need to change.but when?

sometimes i feel like hurting myself.i am such a shame to everyone and to me.i wish my mind could be replaced with a new one.or if each comes with a reset button it'll make everything easier.i feel well i was going to say stupid but the word is rather too strident.i'll go with not-so-smart.i feel not so smart.there are times when i finally feel good about myself.being accepted by a lot of people.having great friends.getting good grades.standing among the best.but those moments stopped and vary with the ones that i'd rather not talk about here.

feelings change so fast.i couldn't even grab any as it shatters so fast to the ground.good job gravity.but the point here is,at one moment i'm happy and the next,i'm like in the wonderland trying to be alice.

keep telling myself that law is supposed to be hard.we are trained to become lawyers.and lawyers aren't just lawyers.lawyers equals money.we're being paid to present the truth.and students like me,are the ones still on the sea.trapped in a small bottle,taking separate ways.thinking of which way to go STILL.people like me can't represent a firm.i'm too lazy.huh this is not how law students cherish their study week. :(

i could call myself a sore loser.but somehow inside of me.a small voice keeps saying that i can do this.this is what i want and i'm not going to back down.i never give up before i fight (though not literally).i'm contemplating really.

the first paper was a disaster,the second was too and followed by the third.so i'm hoping hat the forth would help me set a higher bar?and the last.you are my last hope.

this one's for you mum. :')

nampak disitu perkataan hat terbukti terlalu taksub dengan dunia fantasi.

never thought that looking for housemates could be so difficult.and stressed.stressed?yes.stressed.i thought that everything was fine and looking for a house is easy.but it turned out to be totally different from what i expected.you have to be really really committed with this.shit just got real dude.i'm so lost right now.the house is worth renting.it's nice.but let's put aside for the fact that it's nice,beautiful,perfect.the distance to uitm is quite far.the bus station is quite far.the area?okay,opposite the masjid.near with all kinds of restaurants.so the only problem now is we need more people,and a car.i really hope that i get a heads up from mum to bring the car along.it'll be fine despite the cost.at least 1 problem,solved.

so who's with me?come on people,it's the only fully furnished house yang beautiful.it really is.so beautiful.you have a flat screen tv,a fridge,a perfect kitchen,perfect rooms,washing machine.closets?toilets?a balcony?it's perfect :').but if we were to let the house go.i'd be devastated.but of course i have to get over it.hmm at least i know there's a cute spouse,living in a beautiful house and is so determined to make the people renting their house,feel like home.

everyone's a sleep.awww omel anat.hmm you know how i'm friends with skinny people?COINCIDENCE.aku bukan lah seorang yang memilih kawan.bila difkirkan balik.ye rakan rapat aku semuanya petite dan kurus.kadang kadang aku rase mcm giant bila jalan dengan dorang sbb mereka teramatlah kecil.hihih tapi ketinggian aku ni tak de lah tinggi mana pon.tapi xpe,berkawan dengan orang yang cantik molek dan bergaya membuatkan diri ini terasa bertuah.alhamdulillah mereka juga tidak memilih.

apa yang saya nak sampaikan disini sebenarnya......final start lusa :). 50% cakap diri ini dah ready lagi 50% cakap 'dufuuq ueen?hang ready tang mana?' haa cenggitu lah.aku yakin kita semua boleh buat.x nak aku sangkut kat sem 1 -.-.

oh ye dan lagi satu,aku baru perasan sejak meningkat dewasa ni ehem.aku jadi x lekat bila ddk bilik orang.aku dulu seorang yang jarang gila lekat kat rumah sedari kecil.aku lebih rapat dengan rakan rakan berbanding family.LAMOOOO.ye aku lame -.- hihi rumah walaupon berjiran,aku selalu nak tidur rumah dorang.dorang pon gembira lah akan kehadiran princess yang seringkali buat perut mereka terburai atas gelakan yang melampau kerana lawak yang aku bentangkan is OH SO FUNNAYH.yes i am hilarious.LOL.....padahal..haha haa cm tu lah.aku suka sangt tidur rumah kwan dulu.tapi sejak asasi rasanya.bila aku ckp 'weh mlm ni nak tidur bilik kau'? semua tidak lagi percaya.first dulu attempt nak tidur bilik alyia.pastu pukul 3 nak ke 4 aku pon buka pintu pulang ke bilik sendiri.ade lah lebih 2 kali aku cm tu.lepastu bilik miyah pula.x pernah melekat.pukul 3 ke 4 juga aku bangun dan decide untuk pulang ke bilik.tak kira lah tempat tu keras mana,yang penting aku sampai bilik aku.dekat shah alam ni pon.tepat pukul 4.aku cari jalan balik.miyah pon dah boleh agak.cuma tunggu pukul 4,lalu kuranglah sorang dlm bilik die.

dan aku juga seorang yang sayang akan barang barang aku.sayang sangat sampai aku dah tetapkan syarat bila sesiapa nak guna barang aku.huh aku jadi resah bila orang guna lama lama,sbb aku dapat rasa kesakitan barang aku.aku jadi marah bila orang ambil barang aku tanpa kebenaran.walaupon orang tu keluarga aku sendiri.aku tak tau knp dgn diri ni.-.- mungkin aku cuma mahukan orang tu minta izin?pelik pon pelik.aku sangt sayg akan laptop ni.ni juga merupakan laptop aku yang pertama.dan juga antara barang privacy aku yang aku jaga.begitu juga dengan hp.hmm habit yang sukar dikikis.tapi,mungkin ini akan memberi benefit untuk aku pada masa akan dtg?wallahualam.

okay,fna dah pon bangun untuk perform solah asar.maka dengan itu,secara automatiknya fna dinobatkan sebagai pemenang dalam permainan tidur.hihi kejap lagi bila semua dah bangun,boleh lah kami menjamu selera beramai ramai.insyallah.

MENYESAL T_T

final is in 9 or 8 days but i swear to god that i haven't even started a thing.weh what is this?apa ni?apa ni?!i won't have time to finish studying in 2 days!aku dah gila!i need my roomates!

mak aku pon buat benda yang sama.motif "i was making fun of her?" motif motif? think twice before you assume.

sometimes i don't understand people.sue anna joe maria elena or anyone lah yang dikenali melalui blog mereka.why do these people have haters eh?i was wondering lah in a long time ledy.i mean mmg lah semua orang buat salah but but but,all they did was post videos and write on their blogs.in which part did they invade YOUR space?it's either you went to their blog or they search for you which is impossible for them to know you cause..you know the reason -.- i mean mesti lah one day you decided that "oh siapa sue anna joe ni?siapa maria elena?hmm nk search lah"...after 5 videos or 10 dah habis tengok "ewwww gediknyewwww mereka ni!apa ni apa ni?!" dan juga x masuk akal lah kalau ou tengok die in one day terus benci.ni mesti asyik visit,tengok update diorang semua ni.tapi awak kate awak x suka mereka?knp nak search lagi?hmmm

aku pernah lah kan beli buku bintang kecil dan menconteng arang pada muka diorang. LITERALLY .sbb apa?sbb x dapat jadi cover T_T sobsss haa mcm tu je lah.and sometimes tengok orang cantik memang lah tercalit sikit rase cemburu tu.atau mungkin hay-derss ni semua rse benda yang sama?tp x de sbb untuk benci bukan?itu kelebihan diorang knp kita nak marah diorang?knp u tak tanya tuhan je?haa tindakan uolss ni mcm mencabar kejadian tuhan yang juga dimana satu tindakan yang salah.marilah ikut tindakan saya yang sering senyum pada diri sendiri bila tengok kat cermin dan kata "aku cantik" and walk away.minta semoga hari yang anda lalui penuh dengan berkat dari-NYA.

i am trying to let go all these prasangka buruk,benci marah dengki cemburu.biar die pergi jauh jauh sbb ni semua traits syaitonnirojim.bila ade rase x puas hati tu istifargh.dan cuba senyum.ni aku berjaya buat 4 kali je kot -.- major fail at life.haih xpe lah.at least kita mencuba bukan?

HFD.

i heard that today is father's day?is it true?al-maklumlah,sudah 6 tahun tak sambut hehe okay ini lawak sedih sangat ni T_T

it has been six years since daddy left us.ini kalau ayah masih hidup,mesti aku dah tak kenal ayah sebab dah 6 tahun tak jumpa.-.- i once tanam this dream to go to makkah.cause for some reason,i wanted to meet ayah.even nampak someone looked exactly like him would make me lepas rindu?you know if ayah were here,i'd run up to him and hug him pastu cakap "where have you been ayah?" huh haraapaaan.aku harap ayah aku sekarang berada bersama orang orang yang beriman insyaallah.semoga ayah happy disana.

i would like to talk more about him tapi,i've said enough.daddy was my hero,my inspiration and forever will be.

i am super exhausted,tired,fatigued,worn out,drained,zonked,wasted,knocked out and everything that has anything to do with the word tired.gosh,will this shit load ever end?my head is over-thinking,whispering and worried of what will happen next week.2 times harder?i know.i have to cope with what i've gotten myself into.i want this and i should do this.why am i giving up so early? :(

i am a wrack.i am updating this on an on going class of madam Fatimahtuzahara' and note that if she does read this blog....she'd kill me for misspelling her name -.-.malaysian legal studies is somewhat a subject that looks so hard on the outside but a delicate one on the inside.though i still can't think of it as 'easy' -.- there's a lot to sink in and of course a lot to memorize.can i do this YA ALLAH?insyaallah i can.

happy birthday to me :')

okay so today was super fun and how i wish i could just post these pictures and let you guys figure out what happened but the story must be told.it was fun to me :')

okay so it all began when yesterday was my birthday :) and so,these pretty gals decided to take me to watch a movie "madagascar 3" katanya -.- i was super excited from yesterday haha cause everyone is talking about the movie kan so i wanted tu watch lah.i thought we were going to bukit raja but NOT.i finally dapat pergi setia city mall :) pergi pergi,sheryn kata die nak jumpa dengan kawan die.i was devastated lah kan sbb ingat nak jalan sesama ekekeke then i dengan tia pon jelajah the whole place.it was big but enough shops for me.i mean everything is there.u name it.zara?typo?cotton on?pappa rich?tgif?tony roma's? yeap.a perfect place for me and the girls :) so some pictures were taken on our way there

so bila dah arrive the place,sheryn went to see her friend while me and tia were struggling searching for the friggin atm-.- there were a lot of things i wanted to buy tapi apakan daya,tempat baru,atm pon baru lah kan -.- lepas dah jalan punya lama,then tia kate,nak pergi tony roma's kejap,meet sheryn's friend and then belah tempat lain. ....

.

.

.

.

masuk..masuk....

tedenggg!happy birthday!!! kata sheryn (in a less energetic way)

and all the makanan was ready :')

setelah kenyang makan,the left overs.haha

then sheryn and tia gave me this :) :

sheryn and tia also demanded for some balloons to be tied up dekat meja kitorang.

and also they changed the play list dekat tony roma's which includes my favorite song

"we are young " :')

thank you and sorry for doubting you guys :')

at first i didn't believed that they changed the play list for me then tia cakap

"haish kau ni,kitorang siapa minta die ikat belon tau".

haha masa tu baru prasan ade belon kat meja ktorang.

baik sangat ni!

then we cam-whored.

then this came to our table :')

and as you can see,i had to tiup the lilin guna straw -.-

i never really liked cupcakes before but these from wondermilk,

you guys should really try them.they're super nice ! :D

thank you to these two prettay ladies for making this happen.hmm i'm sorry i wasn't that surprised cause i never had a surprise birthday before heheh terkaku kejap,there's a lot to take in.thank you again.i'm super excited and happy:D

some pictures are not so clear sebab tia took it from shery's ipad.tangkap guna my phone.faham x?ke x?hmm kbai.

today was awesome :D

french project.

thanks to french project,i now have these crazy people in my life hahaha. aiyo lah ama nat and alai.

alhamdulillah,the clock strikes 00:00 and i am now officially 20 years old.20 years of witnessing the purity of life and after much perseverance,here i am standing with perfect health and people around me whom are just perfect.a long journey it is.i get to feel the topsy-turvy of life,the saying "life is like a roller coaster" and all in all,the bittersweet of life. it took me a long time to figure how can life be as similar as us,riding a roller coaster?then i came across life is full with ups and down and so i related that with the roller coaster thingy and equaled to roller coasters go up and down and go around.but still,what does that has anything to do with life? oh my,of course.

1. you can't always get what you want
2. life is not according to you
3. you will cry at any end of a day
4. life is not perfect
5. you can't always be happy
6. everyone doesnt like you,only a few.
7. people come and go and you have to cope with the sadness
8. people change,places do too and so does weather.
9. not all guys can be trusted
10. chances are,you will not get the nice ones
11. people hate you for no reason
12. people like you for no reason
13. you are beautiful only to you but not to people
14. you need friends,and fuck to those who said you dont need one
15. bitches are bitches
16. guys will ignore you if you open up to them,and no it's not like in the movies.
17. when life hands you lemon,don't take it.
18. be happy and forget what people think
19. you are actually important to your haters,cause you are their life,w/o you,they have no main subject and so they will fail in life.
20. smile,fake,slap,backstab,laugh sarcastically or speak in such tone, do whatever hell did marilyn monroe do,these are just virtues of surviving life.
21. do not be too nice,too clod or too proud.
22. then how should you act?figure it out.
23. people will come up to you and say mean things,you smile,and walk away.
24. no no need to flip your hair.
25. people don't like to smile and so don't smile randomly to people.
26. be skinny cause you'll be more popular and oh be beautiful,but if you're not,maybe do something w your personality.if it sucks,then good luck.
27. dress appropriately,no showing a lot of skins.you'll get raped.
28. the number 23 is not important.so don't be obsessed with it.
29. ignore number 28.
30. be happy with your life as it is,cause no matter what you do to yourself,only you could change the story of your life and only you could face it.life is like a fairytale,except,you are the author.so why wanna live in suffer when you can make it with colors?though yes,storm and stone and stick will be thrown to you but the hell,you could always backspace it or erase it.always start new each day.

you are welcome with these guidelines.alhamdulillah,i get to be in a roller coaster and actually feel the burden and the hate and the annoyance and the sarcasm and and and more.yes i get to be in the "wild ride" if you may. :)

thank you all for the wishes :) i feel loved.thank you

to those who have just started life,good luck finding your way out.

canoeing was so much fun.SO MUCH FUN!i had fun!yay! :) thank you girlfriends from pl3d.the best :')

kota london.

aku bersyukur sangat sebab aku dapat merasa ke tempat orang sedari kecil. eceh sedari -.- i was scrolling through hanis zalikha's mum punya blog.she went to london.some of the photos she took were the places ive been to.i miss those moments.how i wish i liked camwhroring back then.boleh amek a lot of pictures.out of all the places ive been to,london is my favorite.from the first time i went there sehingga lah kali keempat memang bila dapat soalan dari ayah "cuti semggu nnt nak pergi london x?" aku orang pertama yang menjerit.x lupa juga pada tempat tepat seperti switzerland,spain,paris,holland hong kong australia.tempat ni semua best juga tapi london menjadi tumpuan aku.bila cuti panjang x pergi london aku sedih.tp x pe ayah aku dah gantikan dengan tenpat tempat lain.sebenanrnya kadang2 aku tanya,apa motif ke negara orang sedangkan negara sendiri semua dah ade?then aku pon jawab pada diri sendiri, ni semua kan kejadian tuhan,aku antara yang bertuah sebab dapat witness first hand kecantikan ni semua.alhamdulillah.tapi sampai sekrang aku cemburu gila bila tengok orang orang ke merata tempat.sejak ayah dah takde,x dpt dah nak kemana.ibu x brani nak ke negara orang sebab tiada lelaki.at least bila ade ayah,ayah boleh lead the way,he was the one yang cari kan hotel and all the tour mase dekat spain.my dad was an adventurer.mase dekat switzerland,he drove and we figured the places together.london sebab ayah dah tau jalan jadi tak perlu tour.alhamdulillah sekali lagi.sebelum ayah meninggal dulu,ayah nak bawa kitorg ke italy tapi tak kesampaian.jadinya aku sampai sekarang tanam niat untuk kesana.insyaallah satu hari nnt aku akan melangkah kesana.

aku juga sedih bila ibu menghalang ayah untuk beli rumah di london.arrgghhh! kalau tak boleh aku ulang alik :(

i always tell myself to not only preach but go for it.but i guess i'm just a person who's lack of motivations. :/

i do want to get on stage and be known as the person who had succeeded to own a scroll from the vice chancellor.but why am i not moving?

i do wanna live in a big house but why am i still here?

i do wanna be clever but all i do is sleep.

they said that this is hard.but i say i can do it.can i though?

there's a lot of cases to be memorized and i am updating why?

inspirations.

family.friends.rivals.togetherness 

moi je m'appelle azureen.moi j'habite a paris.moi aussi étudiante.j'aime la musique,regarde film et voyager.

this is not for showing off but i gots me some test tomorrow -.-

my teachers here keep saying that we are all the chosen one.and i question myself.are we?

world.

this happened on the 11th of september 2001.back when i was only 9 years old.i knew about this on the news we were watching at pulau tioman.a family trip.

the sentence in that picture "what if it never happened?would the world be any different?"

to me personally,i think yes.the world would've been a much peaceful planet if it weren't because of this tragedy.by this,the americans hated the muslim.they called us terrorists.our people were tortured and was treated rudely by their citizen. Afghanistan and iraq were victims in this case.thousands of people were killed.kids?adults?grandparents?u name it.

i imagine that the world would be a better place because if this didn't happen,iraq and Afghanistan wouldn't have lost people from their country.all families would be perfectly blessed with what God had given to them.Bush wouldn't be a great president(based on the people of america) because he couldn't show his powers if this didn't happen.there would be no hate.no one would have died in that building.no family would live in grieve.the world trade centre would still be the tallest building.

but what matter now is that,it happened.no one can change history.people died.afganistan and iraq lived in hell.people of america have paid for what they thought we did.they are now happy.

however,in Quran,everything has been written.all of these things should happen.and it did.can we blame God?no.what we can do is just ask ourselves and that's quite it.everything again,happens for a reason.what reason that Afghanistan and iraq had to go through hell?their people died in shahid.i'd take that as one of the positive sides.although,we don't really know why this happened,but us muslim take this as a sign.

let Allah do His job.and let us pray and thank Him for our peaceful country.alhamdulillah.

war tribunal.

the picture says it all.

i have made it :')

after all the hustling and struggling during my foundation,i guess it all paid off :)

i am now one of the students in the law faculty.

although i'm new (first semester) but this means a lot to me.

you don't know what i've been through.

i don't know what you've all been through.

so let us be proud with each other shall we?  

:)

Hello earthlings.how are you guys today?it's been awhile since i last updated this blog.im sorry for not feeding u with my ridiculous yet obnoxiously awkward posts.i have been busy super busy.so today i will be rambling about what happened to me for the past few days.

last friday,saturday and sunday,i became a bailiff.in a court.in the uk.sitting beside the judge.and saying "all rise,the court is now in session".yes people i was the bailiff.i get to yell at people for talking inside the court,i get to make the i'll-eat-you-up eye.

all the above are total nonsense.i didn't went to uk just to be a bailiff for 3 days.nope i didnt.cause if i did,i wouldn't have had the time to get to class on monday which i obviously did came on monday having that i'm living no where above 200 km from my faculty and if any of you,which i doubt,believed me.you should know where you stand. lol

okay i'm literally not making any sense.okay so i became the bailiff for the mooting club,it was soooo soooo sooo tiring weh.but imma get my sijil insyaallah.and i dont wanna talk about it lah.

pastu jumaat lepas i went to war crimes tribunal :) i had funnnn superrr funnn :) okay mals nak type tetiba rase marah -.-

today was undeniably tiring altho i didn't do any heavy liftings or push a thousand tons of steel.but still,it was tiring.i need to teach myself to handle situations and control my emotions.i am too sensitive.toooooooooooo sensitive.too...sensitive.

i miss my family.

friends are suppose to be the second family but huh

this post is for you.however,i know you're reading and so i think it's best if i keep it to myself. :)

hello 0105 am.i am so sleepy.i wanted to update you but xde energy dah nak fikir.bai sorry :'(

one session became two session -.- tireddddddd but now i know how these mooters moot.insyaallah i can participate one day.

arghhh i wanted to talk about something but i forgot.soo goodbye

it was a long day today.i voluntarily volunteered myself for something i think is a burden -.- but anyhow.everyone seems happy with it.so imma follow the flow and be happy too though my heart is saying otherwise. -.- i hope that everything will be fine.please be T_T the faster the better.and please be it for one session.i dont wanna be there forever.

sleepy.i guess i'll be sleeping early tonight. :) goodnight cruel world.

bila dengar bunyi kapal terbang,teringat ayah. :(

sometimes when you wanna tell things to people,people tend to judge you.i get that all the time.can't i be vulnerable for once?things i share are things that i don't consider showing off but they are things that i've gone through.don't blame my past.don't roll your eyes on me saying that you're tired of my stories.my intentions are clean.

yes it's impossible for people to get what i get,but maybe it's my luck.you really wanna question God's plans?then it's up to you.

besides,i don't get those special treatments anymore.

God heard my prayers.my contract test will be held next friday.

i wish i had someone to call,to text and to talk to when i'm feeling alone.but people today don't really like listening.

sometimes i feel so lonely that i could cry out of emptiness.i wanna say i miss you but i'm scared you'd ignore me T_T

alhamdulillah,the boat that i sailed today had smoothly ported to my destination :) everything went perfectly fine today.i wish this could happen everyday but well everyday is a new day.i'm so happy for the fact that finally,me and my classmates,we talked :') it's a good start actually.i hope i did great in answering mls's quiz just now :/

yesterday,i procrastinated myself from studying malaysian legal system.i was reading and replying tweets back and forth.the thing i regret most T_T and so i didn't had enough time to sleep.i stayed up so late yesterday reading through every page of this book regarding the islamic law here in malaysia and the customary law.then when it was 430 maybe?i forced myself to sleep cause i don't think that i can survive ctu without sleeping.i tried so hard closing my eyes to get me to my dream but i failed.yes people i failed to SLEEP.one of the most easiest thing to do in life yet i failed.i wanted to cry but i didn't,i forced myself for about 1 hour and a half and so i succeeded.woke up and felt so tired so decided to not go to ctu.i was so tired that i couldn't walk straight(literally).THAT WAS HOW TIRED I AM.i need to promise myself to get as enough sleep as i can get cause this can't go on forever.it's dangerous.

and i really hope the contract test happening this friday is a false alarm.

angin semakin kencang,langit semakin pudar menandakan kehadian hujan yang mungkin jua palsu.
disini ku berbaring tenung masa depan dengan harapan ianya bercahaya disuluhi ilmu ku.
namun dengan keberatan yang dipikul daku kini seakan akan menangguhkan perjalanan lurus.
jika diminta angin membawaku terbang ke destinasi nescaya semua ternganga kebingungan dalam tak terurus.
maka tiade lagi yang mampu membantu selain dengan menitiskan titik peluh hasil sendiri.
dalam mencari jalan konklusi,hasutan syaitan menebal meninggi.
ku alih ke sini dan kemari jalan Tuhan yang dirahmati.
akhirnya ku bertemu jua dengan syaitan yang di keji.
mengapa ini terjadi,soal ku pada diri ini.
mungkin kah kerana aku terlalu mengejar dunia?
atau ini semua hanya fantasia semata mata?
selamat tinggal dinia berjaya
dan selamat datang dunia yang ku punya.

oh mai i forgot to welcome may with my warmest hello :) so i hope that this month shall be the same as the previous ones though i'm hoping for a better one lah kan each day :) in 13 days,my brother will officially be 22.i dont think that he'll be excited pon.but let's make a countdown :)

alhamdulillah hari ni kelas sudah tamat.tort is the only subject that could take me sky high.yang lain i cannot even...

i'm so sleepy.you know the kind of tired that is so tired that you cant even lift up your body to fight the tiredness?that is how i felt -.- and now i need to study my ass off for contract.bah bai

people.i.miss.