silence.

at this very moment,this one right now.i feel so lost.i don't know where to go.like every single burden is on my back and i can't keep myself stabled.i feel like talking to someone but the real story is too confidential and i'm trying to satisfy both parties.tears are ready to burst out but when i remembered the phrase "god will only give burden to the ones can handle" then terus kering air mata.then,just then,i pulled all my strength together and think about the solution.thinking too much will lead to stress and stress will lead to being crazy.will i,one day,be a crazy person?pfft drama queen.but still it's not impossible.anything can happen insyaallah.

looking around my house,brings all these memories that had been smashed into pieces.it's like when remembering things,all those pieces come back as one.there's a lot of things i miss.however,thinking about it won't change a thing.frankly speaking,i don't know how to move on.my past is so strong that i am not willing to let it go.it's still hard for me to accept the fact that everything changed.i am afraid of letting go my past.but sadly that's not the point for today's post.the point is,my present is not that good either.a lot of obstacles and walls that needs to be pushed away or smashed.my friend who happens to be a real good muslim,ones said "aku malu nak berdoa pada tuhan untuk senangkan aku jawab soalan,sbb mcm aku hanya pk pasal DIA bila aku perlu".padahal die ni seorang yang x pernah tggl solat.ni kan pula pada yg slalu tggl?thinking back about the statement she stated,makes me think that all these tests that kita lalui is a reminder for us to turn back to ALLAH.this is HIS way of telling us we should pray to him and don't hate life.we as human should catch HIM,and HE will give life to us.so basically,bnyk sgt ujian yang aku da dpt.yeap bnyk.and i should've opened my eyes earlier.the world is coming to an end.but no one has the guts to stop and think.sbb semua takut dan ber-enjoy is just another way of not thinking about these things.

what i'm trying to say is,bila kita diberi ujian,we should be thankful that ALLAH still thinks about us.kita masih ade peluang.peluang untuk bersama yang beriman di akhirat kelak.aku antara manusia yang take these things for granted.semuanya sbb kita x tau bila kita mati dan bila akhirat.semua buat bodoh sbb pk akhirat jauh lg nak smpai.but actually,it could be tomorrow.huh i should stop and turn back to him.insyaallah.and so all these burden,aku akn terima dgn buka hati.walaupon sepanjang perjalann die menyedihkan but i'm sure it's worth it.so let us change sikit demi sikit dari semase ke semase.i'm trying too.