piddoto

hello.

7 days have passed so fast that i can't even remember how i have wasted this more-than-3day holiday.i'm quite pissed at myself.i could have used this moment to cover everything up but NOOOO.i thought that not sticking at home is a better option.

KAU TU DAH LAH TAK BERAPA NAK PANDAI!SEDAR DIRI SIKIT!

this is what i told myself constantly.but why am i still not moving?

you know,just now,when i was on my way here,i had this inside conversation with me and only me.it was about "am i ready to face this reality?".after a long debate with myself (which i know it sounds so psychotic) only then do i get the solid yet so valid answer.I AM NOT READY.i am not even near to the word ready.why?now i know how qila felt when she took french as her third language but really,she wanted korean.the feeling is so wrong you know?now don't get me wrong,while i was doing my foundation,i thought that this was what i wanted.like damn true.i was so going to be a 'lawyer' then.but now all of a sudden that dream of mine fades.just when it's only a few steps closer to what i thought was mine to grab.i'm lost numb blanked.