or preferred to be known as Rahimah.this person is my mum :').although i've given her a lot of hard times but there she is,still standing strong,that is why i love her.my mum has tasted the bittersweet of life.starting from selling kuih muih,nasi lemak to having a big dream.the dream is to be a great student great person and to find her perfect soulmate,to become the perfect wife and mother to her children.my mum always wanted to get married with a man who could give her the life that she deserved.she did not stopped even for a minute to grab that dream.she's a very strong woman.she's a diligent person as well,from one job to another,she strived to make changes for her family.my opah told us siblings that my mum used to be a "kegilaan ramai" because she's beautiful and people not only like her for her looks but they could see right through her,the perfect person she is.but everyone got rejected,then came my dad :) the perfect match.hihih they got married,gave the life she deserved and was granted with 4 beautiful children.errr.hahah
they were happily married.but after 21 years of marriage,ALLAH all mighty,loves my father more,makanya pada tanggal 7 april 2006,Ismail Bin Mohd Isa telah meninggalkan kami.ber lima.everyone was shocked sbb my dad died secara terkejut.around 45 minutes before he went away,he got affected by pneumonia.my father even requested to meet my mum before he closed his eyes forever he asked "where's my wife?" to the doctor,nurse pon straight panggil me and my mum ,mase kitrg on the way lah yang ayah pergi tu.Allah itu maha berkuase,ayah x pernah ade tanda2 sakit tu pon,but he ended his life from it.i for one,was 14 years old at that moment.losing a father is not like losing your fave t-shirt,or your lucky dress,it's like losing your other half.i did not know how to react other than crying.i was beaten down by it.i got lost in my own world.i became rebellious.
it was hard enough for me to see my father leaving us here,but it was harder for my mum.he was her husband,the love of her life basically her everything.mummy did not cried.at least in front of us.i always thought that i was the only one who cared.selfish i am.i was so mad at everything.secretly my mum cried on her bad alone every night,knowing that her partner is not there to watch tv together,to accompany her to sleep.my mum lived her life as if nothing happened.she worked hard to not let us suffer.the great daddy he was and a responsible husband,he kept for us enough money to keep moving on.ade at one point i have to teman my mum pergi amanah raya everyday after school untuk uruskan harta pusaka ayah smpai aku pernah ckp "ibu smpai bila nk buat cm ni?ueen nak jadi mcm budak budak lain,balik skola terus smpai rumah mandi mkn,ueen pula nak pergi amanah raya semua".tp bila kene pakse juga i ignored my mum dlm train nk ke amanah raya tu.tp all and all alhamdulillah.ibu is a very patient woman.she got me through ups and downs,thick and think alone.she got all 4 of us through.
i was so against her getting remarried because i thought that it wasn't fair for my late dad.LATE DAD.without even thinking that my dad is no longer here,apa beza kalau aku rase x fair pon,sbb ayah da xde.i guess i was so caught up in the past that i still feel his existence up until today.my mum always asked our permission kalau she could get married again.all i did was kept silent and let my tears do the work.heh but sometimes i slammed the door or just stop talking to her.i couldn't say yes.i felt so wrong.cause i love my father so much.but the fact is,she's a single mum and ramai org jahat kat luar sana.she just needed protection like when she was with my father.she just wanted to be loved again.she just missed my dad so much.lagi pon i'm sure that my mum mmg terlalu rindukan pelukan seorang suami after 5 years.mula mula ibu x nak,she even wrote a blog about not getting married again tp jodoh semua atas tangan tuhan,x nak punya x nak,datang la the guy.at the end,they got married.i couldnt accept the fact till today,but slowly i let my heart open,just to make my mum happy.she's happy now.yeap.so happy.but sometime ade la penat semua kan,sbb da berumur hihihi what matters the most is seeing that smile :)
my mum has been through a lot throughout her life.dari jual kuih,kawin dengan laki idaman,menjalin kebahagiaan,lalui penderitaan,and gained happiness again.banyak ibu da lalui and here you are today,still young mcm dulu cantik tabah sabar.everything really made u a better person and a better mum ibu.i don't know how to repay you than a segulung sijil satu hari nnt :) i hope to be like u one day.
walaupon aku x boleh terima hakikat smpai hari ni,but knowing that my mum is happy now,made me the happiest person.dulu lps ayah meninggal,ibu jadi kurus sangat.xde selera nak mkn.kalau pukul 7 or nak dekat pukul 7 mesti sedih sbb ayah biase balik dari kerja time tu.and kalau mkn kat meja mkn mesti sedih juga sbb ayah slalu mkn skali.tp sekarang this guy lah pengganti ayah.ibu sekarang da gelak ketawa da dekat meja tu.situasi jadi mcm dulu.except aku kurung diri dlm bilik -.-i'm sorry i did not treat you right ibu.i'm sorry if i've yelled at you.i'm sorry if i did not listened to you,i'm sorry if i cant be the person you wanted me to be tp ueen tgh cuba ibu.and thanks juga to those who lifted me up with ur supports.:)
sekarang aku da mula nak tgk wajah mak aku lama2 everytime secretly lah kan.haha sbb bila bila je tuhan boleh tarik nyawa.x ibu,mungkin aku.jadi aku kiranya mcm ambil gmbar dlm minda la.hah kadang kadang aku rase marah bila ibu jerit sana sini,tp aku biarkan sbb takut satu hari nnt aku akan rindu.so people,this is the time for us to appreciate our parents.dengar ckp semua.aku menyesal kot bnyk buat x endah tp insyaallah la kita cuba slow slow.especially me.aku x nak ulang apa yang da berlaku mase ayah aku dulu.aku x terfikir pon ayah akan pergi so i took my chance with him for granted.im truly sorry.sekarang baru aku faham akan semua benda yang berlaku.
ILOVEYOUIBU:)ILOVEYOUAYAH:).
muah untuk ibu dan al-fatihah buat ayah.
and kalau bace post ni,sedekah lah al-fatihah okay?terima kasih :)
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