random so random

i wish i could describe things in a way that people can actually felt it.feel what i'm going through.unfortunately,i'm not that good of a writer.i only see things in my own perspective.people don't get to step into the world of me.i guess i'm not that nice after all.just when u thought you're that funny person,happy all the time n never take things for granted,but it turns out,u're the exact opposite.u only use these personality as shields to block out the ones that u wanna hide.there's no such thing as a happy person hoo there n hoo here.people with problems are the perfect package.these people are the real deal.people would look at me n say "u are always happy,i wanna be just like u".well guess again

fine

i apologize for my previous post which i had no idea people would read .that's a good thing for me.however the point is i shouldn't have posted anything bad.she was right,i wasn't thinking rationally when posting it cause it just happened n i had to let it all out.basically i'm gonna be a grown woman and just let it go.bai bai

intro

hello my dear ladybugs :) so i am alone in this house.kakak is at work my mum n her husband went to melaka this morning n am not sure when they are coming back.so this post will be so random.before going to bed yesterday,i thought thoroughly about me.u know after getting the results and all.i'm scared if i have to repeat things but i've done my best.i'm so scared man.i told myself. if i opened that result n not be what i expected,than i'm just gonna follow the flow if i dont get law la kan.then maybe law is not where i'm suppose to be.i'll try something else tu pon kalau x fail la.if fail then i have to retake then only i can get through.lets say if i can buat degree but x dpt buat law,then aku x akan putus asa.rezeki ade dimana2 kate kak tia.i miss her :'( i'm just gonna try my luck anywhere yang aku dpt.although people around me will be like "da kate da ueen x blh bawa law" but the hell.that wont stop me.insyaallah.see if i'm with my friends,they always know what to say to make me feel good about myself.only they knew how i struggled.huh xpe la,aku da usaha dan tggl untuk tawakal je. i hope i got both english subject an A+.or apa2 sekitar A la kan.huh pliss la. betul ke kalau kita berangn jadi semakin jauh angn2 itu?x nak la jauh.dekat la D': haih

nightmare/not nightmare

i woke up and straight away thinking of posting this post for today.it's about my dream i had last night.some part of it was fun and some was not so fun.i couldn't remember every detail but i'll try to tell u guys every thing that i remembered lah.

okay so there's this school similar to hogwards from harry potter altho i don't know if i spelled it correctly or not this school dibuka di malaysia.and like any one boleh daftar n ofkos me n my friends pon daftar la kan.first day was opened for the girls.so our hostel slightly looked like the ship from titanic and yes it was big.sangat besar.me fna miyah mimi n mun stayed in a different room.their's were downstairs n mine was above them.i noticed because i had something to tell em' but can't seem to jumpa their room.i went alone walking in the big ship searching for them then there's this room,where we can see the view outside was very beautiful tapi gelap.n for some reason i made a video clip alone there.eerrrrr.i was like running slow motion and like was so emotional well basically because i saw a guy behind me.he knew i was in the room n he came with me.just when i wanna go to the other side of the ship,it was too dark so i turned around n saw raja nazrin.raja nazrin was the guy.yeah i know.klaka kan?raja was mcm like pengawas but not pengawas.i dont know how to say this but he was mcm penolong all teachers la.like teachers pet?okay.but he was so nice to me.he asked me what happened n all.n he said "that's too drk come on inside" *tranlated.then came two guys to lock the door yang i was about tu keluar through tu.those two guys are my friends juga tp x ingt.the 2 guys switched on the lights.then ade katil king yang like digabungkan 2 sbb besar sangt2 katil tu.slept by some girls younger than me.it was one of the hostel's room.i thought it was a lounge or something.the room was so big.so imagine la every room dlm ship was THAT big.nyesal x balik bilik -.- kalau x blh tgk bilik i.ok not the point -.- ok so that was the end of my night in the girls hostel.

then buka la pula pendaftaran for the boys.all the girls whom i dont know from the hostel were there too to help or menggedik i dont know la.but all i know i was there with my friend.sblm tu we went to pengkalan iman to buy some food then i insisted my friend to follow me to take a look at the boy's college.okay,so bila da smpai,i must say.bangunan budak laki was spooky gila babi.it was like the hostel from my previous scool atau pon from malinja.i dont remember but i've seen that building. then there's this emo boy came to me n said "kalau bangunan ni buat bangunan c kitorg pon x pe." yup something like that.than,semua da blh masuk.it was in the night tau.kalau nk masuk u have to show ur number which was given earlier.me n my friend main masuk je sbb die cm da nmpk muka kitorg mase dftr kolej pompuan kn so die ingt kitrg nk tlg la kot.da berjaya masuk then we climbed the stairs smpai aku penat -.- there was a tragedy where a teacher was killed.i was right behind my friend then suddenly die cm cuak2 n said "weh aku rase ni la tmpt die kene bunuh tu" sbb ade stain darah kat tangga tu.i da freaked gila babi da.then suddenly nmpk perempuan pucat turun tangga while looking at us.tu roh mayat tu kata kawan aku.sbb kitrog nmpk muka cikgu tu.aku da cuak gila.tetba the same teacher tp this time pakai tudung naik dan ckp "ni bukan tmpt saya kene bunuh,ikot saya." pastu ku ngn kwn aku pon ikot la.aku cm nk pengsan tgk bnyk darah weh kat tangga tu.aku da takut sangt.pastu die bawa pusing lagi "ni tmpt saya gantung lampin anak saya dan..." aku terus tarik kawan aku n ckp weh balik jom aku x nk dengar!.then da balik turun tangga aku pon bangun dari tidur terus buka laptop dan bercerita.anak cikgu tu pon dibunuh kat situ juga.

takut gila ini mimpi ok.i dont remember who was my friend tp my friend from merbok la kalau x silap.ok itu saja mimpi saya.bai bai

continue

i will be staying alone at home rasanya jap lagi.im bored i could tell u that.i can't wait to get my license done.gosh finally dapat lesen weh.i can't believe this.it feels as if im a step closer to BLS.i really hope i get it through.YA ALLAH.excited much!so we have 11 more days to dapat result.hamagd!can't wait.x sabaq gak eslok ka x elok ka.nk tgk gak.i hope i did weel although mmg ramai gila hancus termasuk aku but having hopes will not get u convicted kan?man,time id flying very fast.i can't wait to meet my bitches again!i miss them weh.kalau x mmg slalu la aku p turun bawah dok lepak.smpai depa pon habih bosan tgk aku aih.x pa la,harap nnt kat degree dpt jumpa semua semula la.x sabaq.hmm ariesya kate,kalau kene reseat,we can choose from 15th smpai 19th rase.tp die pon x brape nk sure jadi x blh caye sgt la apa yg saya tulis ni.oh n november la ofkos.lps dpt result aku kene fly kedah la?tp lets hope i dont have to la kan.nnt dapat je bachelor.i've to work really hard.*yeah right*.aku ni da la kate x serupa bikin -.- tp i really have to.oh my tatotttt!

movies.

okay i forgot to update about the movie night me n sheryn went to.we watched real steel n paranormal acitivity.i personally thought that PA3 was scary.lagi2 watched kat theater when u have nowhere to run.haha weh really scary kot.mmg aku x dpt tdoq cause when i closed my eyes i imagine it.tatottt.hahhah n real steel was awesome la juga.i was like literally following hugh jackmans fist when he was trying to help the robot but in a not-so-nmpk-by-people way.bahahahah kbai

look at me now.

hello readers :) this one i stoled from atyqahrose hihihi.so i think everything is true.don't u think so?nuff said.

JUNE=FINEASS

Fun to be with. Loves to try new things. Boy/girls LOVE you. You are very hott. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takesrep pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly.spazzy at times.Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

silence.

at this very moment,this one right now.i feel so lost.i don't know where to go.like every single burden is on my back and i can't keep myself stabled.i feel like talking to someone but the real story is too confidential and i'm trying to satisfy both parties.tears are ready to burst out but when i remembered the phrase "god will only give burden to the ones can handle" then terus kering air mata.then,just then,i pulled all my strength together and think about the solution.thinking too much will lead to stress and stress will lead to being crazy.will i,one day,be a crazy person?pfft drama queen.but still it's not impossible.anything can happen insyaallah.

looking around my house,brings all these memories that had been smashed into pieces.it's like when remembering things,all those pieces come back as one.there's a lot of things i miss.however,thinking about it won't change a thing.frankly speaking,i don't know how to move on.my past is so strong that i am not willing to let it go.it's still hard for me to accept the fact that everything changed.i am afraid of letting go my past.but sadly that's not the point for today's post.the point is,my present is not that good either.a lot of obstacles and walls that needs to be pushed away or smashed.my friend who happens to be a real good muslim,ones said "aku malu nak berdoa pada tuhan untuk senangkan aku jawab soalan,sbb mcm aku hanya pk pasal DIA bila aku perlu".padahal die ni seorang yang x pernah tggl solat.ni kan pula pada yg slalu tggl?thinking back about the statement she stated,makes me think that all these tests that kita lalui is a reminder for us to turn back to ALLAH.this is HIS way of telling us we should pray to him and don't hate life.we as human should catch HIM,and HE will give life to us.so basically,bnyk sgt ujian yang aku da dpt.yeap bnyk.and i should've opened my eyes earlier.the world is coming to an end.but no one has the guts to stop and think.sbb semua takut dan ber-enjoy is just another way of not thinking about these things.

what i'm trying to say is,bila kita diberi ujian,we should be thankful that ALLAH still thinks about us.kita masih ade peluang.peluang untuk bersama yang beriman di akhirat kelak.aku antara manusia yang take these things for granted.semuanya sbb kita x tau bila kita mati dan bila akhirat.semua buat bodoh sbb pk akhirat jauh lg nak smpai.but actually,it could be tomorrow.huh i should stop and turn back to him.insyaallah.and so all these burden,aku akn terima dgn buka hati.walaupon sepanjang perjalann die menyedihkan but i'm sure it's worth it.so let us change sikit demi sikit dari semase ke semase.i'm trying too.