enough.

enough being sad,:) time to move on.take a thousand steps forward and never look back again.okbai :)

Rohimah alias.

or preferred to be known as Rahimah.this person is my mum :').although i've given her a lot of hard times but there she is,still standing strong,that is why i love her.my mum has tasted the bittersweet of life.starting from selling kuih muih,nasi lemak to having a big dream.the dream is to be a great student great person and to find her perfect soulmate,to become the perfect wife and mother to her children.my mum always wanted to get married with a man who could give her the life that she deserved.she did not stopped even for a minute to grab that dream.she's a very strong woman.she's a diligent person as well,from one job to another,she strived to make changes for her family.my opah told us siblings that my mum used to be a "kegilaan ramai" because she's beautiful and people not only like her for her looks but they could see right through her,the perfect person she is.but everyone got rejected,then came my dad :) the perfect match.hihih they got married,gave the life she deserved and was granted with 4 beautiful children.errr.hahah

they were happily married.but after 21 years of marriage,ALLAH all mighty,loves my father more,makanya pada tanggal 7 april 2006,Ismail Bin Mohd Isa telah meninggalkan kami.ber lima.everyone was shocked sbb my dad died secara terkejut.around 45 minutes before he went away,he got affected by pneumonia.my father even requested to meet my mum before he closed his eyes forever he asked "where's my wife?" to the doctor,nurse pon straight panggil me and my mum ,mase kitrg on the way lah yang ayah pergi tu.Allah itu maha berkuase,ayah x pernah ade tanda2 sakit tu pon,but he ended his life from it.i for one,was 14 years old at that moment.losing a father is not like losing your fave t-shirt,or your lucky dress,it's like losing your other half.i did not know how to react other than crying.i was beaten down by it.i got lost in my own world.i became rebellious.

it was hard enough for me to see my father leaving us here,but it was harder for my mum.he was her husband,the love of her life basically her everything.mummy did not cried.at least in front of us.i always thought that i was the only one who cared.selfish i am.i was so mad at everything.secretly my mum cried on her bad alone every night,knowing that her partner is not there to watch tv together,to accompany her to sleep.my mum lived her life as if nothing happened.she worked hard to not let us suffer.the great daddy he was and a responsible husband,he kept for us enough money to keep moving on.ade at one point i have to teman my mum pergi amanah raya everyday after school untuk uruskan harta pusaka ayah smpai aku pernah ckp "ibu smpai bila nk buat cm ni?ueen nak jadi mcm budak budak lain,balik skola terus smpai rumah mandi mkn,ueen pula nak pergi amanah raya semua".tp bila kene pakse juga i ignored my mum dlm train nk ke amanah raya tu.tp all and all alhamdulillah.ibu is a very patient woman.she got me through ups and downs,thick and think alone.she got all 4 of us through.

i was so against her getting remarried because i thought that it wasn't fair for my late dad.LATE DAD.without even thinking that my dad is no longer here,apa beza kalau aku rase x fair pon,sbb ayah da xde.i guess i was so caught up in the past that i still feel his existence up until today.my mum always asked our permission kalau she could get married again.all i did was kept silent and let my tears do the work.heh but sometimes i slammed the door or just stop talking to her.i couldn't say yes.i felt so wrong.cause i love my father so much.but the fact is,she's a single mum and ramai org jahat kat luar sana.she just needed protection like when she was with my father.she just wanted to be loved again.she just missed my dad so much.lagi pon i'm sure that my mum mmg terlalu rindukan pelukan seorang suami after 5 years.mula mula ibu x nak,she even wrote a blog about not getting married again tp jodoh semua atas tangan tuhan,x nak punya x nak,datang la the guy.at the end,they got married.i couldnt accept the fact till today,but slowly i let my heart open,just to make my mum happy.she's happy now.yeap.so happy.but sometime ade la penat semua kan,sbb da berumur hihihi what matters the most is seeing that smile :)

my mum has been through a lot throughout her life.dari jual kuih,kawin dengan laki idaman,menjalin kebahagiaan,lalui penderitaan,and gained happiness again.banyak ibu da lalui and here you are today,still young mcm dulu cantik tabah sabar.everything really made u a better person and a better mum ibu.i don't know how to repay you than a segulung sijil satu hari nnt :) i hope to be like u one day.

walaupon aku x boleh terima hakikat smpai hari ni,but knowing that my mum is happy now,made me the happiest person.dulu lps ayah meninggal,ibu jadi kurus sangat.xde selera nak mkn.kalau pukul 7 or nak dekat pukul 7 mesti sedih sbb ayah biase balik dari kerja time tu.and kalau mkn kat meja mkn mesti sedih juga sbb ayah slalu mkn skali.tp sekarang this guy lah pengganti ayah.ibu sekarang da gelak ketawa da dekat meja tu.situasi jadi mcm dulu.except aku kurung diri dlm bilik -.-i'm sorry i did not treat you right ibu.i'm sorry if i've yelled at you.i'm sorry if i did not listened to you,i'm sorry if i cant be the person you wanted me to be tp ueen tgh cuba ibu.and thanks juga to those who lifted me up with ur supports.:)

sekarang aku da mula nak tgk wajah mak aku lama2 everytime secretly lah kan.haha sbb bila bila je tuhan boleh tarik nyawa.x ibu,mungkin aku.jadi aku kiranya mcm ambil gmbar dlm minda la.hah kadang kadang aku rase marah bila ibu jerit sana sini,tp aku biarkan sbb takut satu hari nnt aku akan rindu.so people,this is the time for us to appreciate our parents.dengar ckp semua.aku menyesal kot bnyk buat x endah tp insyaallah la kita cuba slow slow.especially me.aku x nak ulang apa yang da berlaku mase ayah aku dulu.aku x terfikir pon ayah akan pergi so i took my chance with him for granted.im truly sorry.sekarang baru aku faham akan semua benda yang berlaku.

ILOVEYOUIBU:)ILOVEYOUAYAH:).

muah untuk ibu dan al-fatihah buat ayah.

and kalau bace post ni,sedekah lah al-fatihah okay?terima kasih :)

a thousand years.

omg i don't know how to tell you guys that i missed posting so much! huh there's a lot to share but where to start?okay let's go with 2012.so happy new year everyone :) i was so scared when the clock strikes 12 cause i wasnt ready to live in a new year but hey,i'm still here,breathing :) alhamdulillah.i celebrated the new year at home.slept at 8 and woke up at 11:54.6 mins to new year.heh.watched tv with the family.well a perfect start i'd say,but got a little bit annoyed with my brother seperti biase.he's just born to be annoying so nothing to say about that.hmm it's the 2nd jan now and i feel like there's something wrong.i think a lot.okay,i've brought a long my last year's resolution to present so that i can really fulfill it however,i'm not gonna say it here,afraid that i might jinx it.there will be a next post later on,i wanna write it for my mum :).i guess this is it.gotta go,sorry for the short updates but i'm lack of ideas lah.heh but but,to my friends that are going through a rough patch,i want you guys to be strong.do not be sad,cause i know the real feeling about sadness and it aint fun.so,be happy guys.:)

tet..tet...tada!10 years later.

oh my,it feels like ages since i last posted a post here.the internet connection in my house is down so kene selalu lepak kedai mamak la nok.so dekat sini x brapa nk inspired sangat nk update cause i fell like everyone's like 'bila nak belah budak dua org ni' -.- ye la aku kan negaholic makanya negative je la mak.oh and ive made a video for the girls.tgh loading ni.lmbt nak mampoih.-.- once it's finished i'll pm u guys k?bai

Lets see.

Here, I have six conditions, which are:

A. The kettle is making noise, showing that the water is cooked.

B. The water inside the washing machine is over flowing

C. Your little baby brother is crying

D. Your mobile phone is ringing

E. Someone is at your door (pressing the bell)

F. Rain is coming down and your clothes will be wet (clothes hanging)

In those situations what will you do first? And make sure you put in the right orders.

alight.this will be my answer :)

B.The water inside the washing machine is over flowing.

F. Rain is coming down and your clothes will be wet (clothes hanging)

C. Your little baby brother is crying

A. The kettle is making noise, showing that the water is cooked.

E. Someone is at your door (pressing the bell)

D. Your mobile phone is ringing

stretches.

insecurities have been part of my life since i started high school.having to worry about how i look,how to act and how to be great are some of my agendas every morning.i have always been the goofy one and at the same time,i was given names which i am so not proud of by some parties.friends are everything to me but enemies are there to creep me too.being named in a bad way didn't made me stronger instead,i hated myself.i used to grab a chair and sit in front of the mirror crying to myself and thinking 'why was i different from others?' or 'why don't i look pretty'?then i started to write emotional things,hurting myself mentally,and never gave a chance to myself to forgive me.i then,became an anti social because of the names i was given.my confidence level went out the window.i last wore a pair of jeans when i was 12.i stopped wearing them for 5 years and after i was 18,i gained more self esteem day by day.all thanks to my cousin.with the support she gave me,i managed to be the person i am today.basically,we actually need to step into reality,then only then will you realize that these people bad mouthing you are just projections to make u feel down,lose yourself and are just some ornaments to lead you to the wrong path.these people motivated you to make the wrong decisions,meet wrong people and give you bad examples.you need to be strong to avoid these projections just so you can reach your goal.like what they say,you can't get what you want unless you work hard for it.

l.o.v.e

my heart has always been empty and it's been 19 years.empty in terms of intimacy with the opposite sex.i've never loved someone before and i doubt to believe that any has towards me as well.all my life,my family is always first then the friends comes next.these people have inspired me in many ways because they are full of love.little did i know that i was loved by more than a person throughout my life.i never stopped to realize that these great people have supported me through thick and thin but what i'm worried about is not getting the right guy?!what's wrong with me.why can't i be grateful with life? i'm sorry ALLAH for being the person i am.i am so ashamed.*slap me self.-.- gosh.i should teach myself to be more patient and for the fact that we can't always get want we want.maybe what i need,is not necessary.the time will come i'm sure.and i will cherish that moment.what moment?for the guy to come.so there's no reason for me to be sad and all and thinking that i'm never gonna get the right guy for all i know,maybe he's standing right in front of me,or in the future.ALLAH itu maha kuasa,bila Dia rase masanya da sesuai.akn dapat la apa yang DIA jodohkan.for the time being,i would like to enjoy the moments with my family sbb bila semua da kawin n tinggalkan rumah ni,aku x nak rase menyesal kelak.i love my family i miss my dad n my mum's a superwoman.what's not to love?i wish i did not took things for granted,but hell.i was too late.so now,let's make the best out of what i have.

december.

so my first post for december is entitled december :) obviously.so good morning everyone.how are u guys?well long story short.i hope u guys enjoy the last month of 2011.let us all start a new book next year aite?so that's all.:)